


Somewhere Along the Line

by commanderbensolo, Kingdomofwrath



Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: Slow Burn, adam is readers dogs best friend, adam just needs a hug sometimes, adams dating hannah at the start we're SORRY, adan is a soft dork, and Cuteness, fake dating au, lots of flirting, lots of fluff, theres a dog, we hate hannah and it SHOWS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:46:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24864031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderbensolo/pseuds/commanderbensolo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingdomofwrath/pseuds/Kingdomofwrath
Summary: The day Adam Sackler barged in on you at work, you never expected to end up calling him a friend, yet alone end up introducing as your “boyfriend” to your entire family.A slow burn fake dating reader insert fic.
Relationships: Adam Sackler/Reader
Comments: 93
Kudos: 209





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't read the tags, this is a Hannah hate zone, we don't enjoy her character or as a person. And honestly, it shows. Sorry, not sorry.

You slapped the mop head against the tiled floor, you hadn’t meant for it to be so harsh but it was much better to take your frustrations out on the mop than the person you wanted to punch. 

Hannah fucking Horvath. 

The woman was nothing more than a narcissistic psychopath who seemed to thrive upon making your life a living hell, no that wasn’t right that implied she was rooted enough in reality and had enough empathy to be aware of other people’s feelings and how her actions impacted them. 

You’d had your day all planned out, a nice lie in until mid-morning, walk the dog and then some shopping. You needed some new clothes and it would be nice to have some food in the fridge before heading to the bar for your shift. But, then you’d gotten a text from Ray asking you to come in on your day off, _again._ To cover for Hannah because once again she’d left in the middle of her shift. 

You could have said no, should have said no. But money was money and you had a nice pot of savings accumulating in your bank account and you’d need as much as you could for when you reapplied to college. So you’d thrown on some jeans and the first clean shirt you could find. 

The coffee shop hadn’t been exactly busy, there had been a steady flow of customers, a few faces you recognised who smiled and offered polite conversation but nothing that had you running your feet off. Which gave you plenty of time to clean the place as you usually had to do after taking over from Hannah. Who for some reason couldn’t understand that things needed to be put away in specific places or else you’d spend five minutes looking for the whipped cream canister to finish off a drink and then get shit from the customer, or that you can’t just leave spilt milk on the floor. Hence the mop. 

“Kid!” Someone called, the door to the coffee shop opened wide, letting in the warm air from the street as well as the large mass of a man. His entrance had caused most of the people in the room to look up from whatever they were busying themselves with. There was something familiar about him, you couldn’t exactly place it which annoyed you. It seemed impossible for you to forget a man that looked like… that. 

“Can I help you?” You asked as he bounded over to the counter, his fingers drumming on the counter if it wasn’t for the pure look of the joy on his face you’d think it was an anxious tick. Instead, it seemed as if he was trying to burn off as much energy as he could. 

“Where’s Hannah? Hannah, she works here normally.” He explained leaning over the counter causing you to take a step backwards to maintain some form of personal space, his torso was long enough that he could lean forward enough to see into the back. “Hannnaaaah.” He called again. You let out a huff, that explained his familiarity, this must be Adam. Hannah’s “weirdo” boyfriend. 

You’d never met the man, but you’d overheard Ray, Hannah and their friends mention him, the word psychopath and weird-looking had been mentioned a lot during those conversations. Which you thought was a bit harsh coming from Hannah. Hannah calling anyone a psychopath or sociopath seemed, well it was like the pot calling the kettle black. 

As for weird-looking? That wasn’t what you’d call him. Unconventionally attractive yes, he wasn’t exactly Chris Evans hot or Henry Cavil sexy, but he was fucking hot in his own way. 

“You must be Adam. Hannah’s not here.” You said hugging the mop handle to your chest. 

“What?” He asked, shooting back up straight, he continued to look around the store, as if his girlfriend would just appear out of nowhere if he looked hard enough. You wouldn’t be surprised if he jumped over the counter and went to look in the office himself. “She said she had work, where is she?” 

You shrug. “She left, she does it all the time. She’s inconsiderate like that. Can’t you phone her or something.” you offered. He let out a groan in response and dragged a hand over his face in an exaggerated manner. 

“You think I didn’t already try that? She said she was working.” He huffs. 

“Well I don’t know what to say, she skipped out on work again. Had somewhere better to be I guess. As if I didn’t have plans of my own I had to cancel so I could cover for her.” Adam studies you, with a quirked eyebrow, and as much as you hate yourself for it, you’ve started now. Opened the metaphorical lid on the metaphorical bottle. 

“Because her life is sooo much more important than everyone else's, the world revolves around her. And god forbid she waste her precious writers time doing her actual job, not when others can clean up after her.” You busied yourself by running the mop over the floor, glancing up at Adam occasionally as you spoke, watching the grey tiles darken as she wet them seemed soothing in a strange way.

“She doesn’t like working here.” Adam interrupted in his girlfriend's defence, which would be cute if his girlfriend ever returned the favour. 

“Oh, and you think I’ve always dreamed of working in some shitty coffee shop that has one type of stale bean and doesn’t even have a blender to make Frappes? No, but I pull my weight so my coworkers don’t need to pick up my slack.” 

He was quiet as he seemed to take in your words and emotions. Studying you with a look in his eye you didn’t quite trust. Not a look that scared you, but it put you on edge; it was a look that screamed unpredictable. Still, you continued. 

“I’d hate to see what kind of girlfriend she’d be. Such a selfish self-absorbed arsehole.”

“No no no. stop that don’t talk about things you don’t fucking understand.” Adam snapped back shutting you up and making you pause your cleaning so you could look up at him. You narrowed your eyes at the man. 

“Do you want a coffee or something?” You’re not sure exactly why you derailed the conversation, maybe because it felt inappropriate to be bitching to him about his girlfriend or maybe because he seemed to be getting stressed and you really didn’t want your frustration to become contagious. He didn’t deserve that, not when he’d come in so happy.

“No, I don’t want a fucking coffee.” He snapped. You could tell he was still angry at your complaints about his girlfriend. “Shits horrible, you’re letting toxins into your body and for what?” he waved his hand as if that added to his explanation, then he cut himself off as if he took in your unimpressed face. 

He turned to leave, then something switched in his head, and he spun on his heels turning back around and taking a seat at the counter right in front of you. He raised his hands to seemingly slam his hands on the table, but surprisingly they fell gently; his fingers going back to their drumming. “Can I have a hot chocolate please?”. 

“A hot chocolate? Sure.” You forced a smile and threw the cloth in your hand over the sink and busied yourself making the hot chocolate. You wanted to argue that the man didn’t want coffee, because it was a toxin, but he’d have hot chocolate? 

“I booked a job today,” Adam said when you pushed the mug over to him, along with a spoon and a napkin. It was weird to hear him say it so casually when he’d burst into the store with so much excitement. Clearly happy to share the news with Hannah.

“That’s what you came to tell Hannah?” you asked leaning against the counter. In reality, getting involved in Hannah’s drama was something you tried your hardest not to do. The less you knew about her friends the less likely it was you’d have to listen to her yap on and on about herself whenever you shared a shift. Not that it mattered all that much, you knew more about Marnie’s love life than you cared to, and far more about Jessa’s shitty behaviour then seemed possible considering you’d never met the woman. 

But there was something about how broken Adam looked, he’d charged in like a delighted puppy, he didn’t exactly look sad now. But he’d lost that spark of passion. 

Like a kicked puppy. 

He didn’t say anything, just nodded his head and leant down to lick the cream from the top of his mug, somehow he ended up getting it all over his face. You let out a small puff of laughter at the sight. 

“You wanna tell me about it?” You asked standing up and throwing the tea towel you’d used to clean the streamer over your shoulder. His eyes seemed to light up, a glimmer of that excitement seemed to reappear, but he just shrugged. 

“You’re working, you don’t want to hear about my shit.” He’d wiped the cream from his moustache and was currently picking the tiny marshmallows from the mug dropping them on the napkin. 

You openly laughed this time, raising your hands gesturing around the quiet coffee shop. “Oh I’m definitely working hard here, can’t even spare a minute.”

He let out a giggle but didn’t say anything instead he stared at you in suspicion. “Why do you care?” he asked, cocking his head.

You shrugged awkwardly “I’m bored and you seem excited.” 

“Okay then.” He said as the door opened and a customer came in making their way up to the counter. 

“Hold that thought!” you held up your hand as you turned to the customer throwing on your best smile. “Hi what can I get for you.”

“Cappuccino, no foam extra shot dollface.” you fought back your eye roll and smiled wider, finally taking in the guy. You recognised him, he always came in around this time ordered a fucking latte but tried to pass it off as a cappuccino for some ungodly reason, and always, always called you dollface and stared at either your tits or your ass, normally both.

“You know I’m glad it's you that's in dollface, I thought the other girl worked Thursday afternoons.” The guy continued “I definitely prefer you.”

You ground your teeth and slam the portafilter into the machine, much harder than normal. Yes, you remembered this dickbag. You pressed the button and left the shot to brew. Turning to get the milk. “Oh I’ve been told I make the best coffee around these parts,” you say to be polite, since ignoring him wouldn’t do well if you wanted a tip. 

He let out a small laugh. “I don’t quite think you got my meaning there dollface.” He replied watching as you poured the double caffeine shot into his cup, and then lifted the milk jug to pour it in. “Remember no foam!” He said, you rolled your eyes because you could, your back was to him. You didn’t miss the snort that left Adam’s throat. 

“Of course, cappuccino with no foam.” You said turning to him. Pushing the mug towards him. In return, he handed over a crisp ten-dollar note. “Keep the change doll.” He said with a wink. You saw him eye up a seat near the counter, and there was no way you wanted to put up with him for the rest of your shift so you quickly turned back to Adam as you cleaned the station. 

“So tell me! You’re an actor, right? What’s the role?”

Adam glanced over to the cappuccino guy watching him retreat to a table next to the window, then back to you and letting out the most unique laugh you’d ever heard, it seemed to take over his entire face, showing off his dimples. It was infectious, causing you to smile as well. 

“That happen often?” He asked once he’d stopped laughing, there was a sweetness to his inquiry. “Assholes saying shit like that to you?” 

“It’s worse at my other job,” you said with a shrug. 

“Holy shit you have two jobs?” he asked, seemingly blown away. 

“Three if you count the occasional babysitting gigs.” You weren’t exactly strapped for cash but you were living alone in the city and it wasn’t exactly like you had a group of friends to spend your free time with, so you filled that time with work. 

“Wow.” He breathed, you turned away from him to enter dickheads drink into the register. Putting it in as a latte with an extra shot since it was what the fucker ordered, and it gave you a bigger tip from the change. 

“Now tell me about this role hotshot.” You pushed the conversation back to him and hopped up onto the counter next to him. Ray would kill you for sitting on the counter, but you were doing him a favour being here when you weren’t supposed to be, so he could go fuck himself. 

Adam picked up his mug and took a long gulp, practically the entire thing, before putting it back down on the counter and talking. He explained the role, a small part in some crime drama that probably had too many seasons, but that didn’t matter. It was a start, he had a passion for the part and was already developing a plot for his character, motivations and feelings. It was fascinating to hear him talk with such passion. 

You’d gotten up occasionally to serve a customer or clear some tables but you always came back and resumed listening to him, asking him questions about his other jobs. He told you about the play he was working on, and even gave you a few lines in the worst fake British accent you’d ever heard. 

“Shit I’ve been talking at you for three hours.” he finally says, you’d been more than aware of how long he’d been here. You had already started to close down one of the coffee machines. The place was empty apart from Adam, and anyone that came in now would be getting take away cups as a subtle hint they weren’t welcome to sit and stay.

“I don’t mind, it’s been nice speaking to you. You actually kind of made me happy Hannah skipped out.” You admitted as you continued to empty and dry the dishes you’d set away in the dishwasher earlier. 

“Does she do that a lot? Skip out on you?” Adam asked with a lilt in his tone that you couldn’t quite recognise, and you looked at him confused, wondering why he would care when he barely knew you. 

“Yeah, she does it a lot. It’s really annoying really, but I suppose someone has to pick up the slack I guess.”

He moves his head back and forth as though he’s contemplating your words and then nods eventually, as though agreeing with you. He stands up from where he was sitting down at the counter and slides a couple of dollar bills across to you to pay for his hot chocolate as well as quite a generous tip. 

You thank him, and he gives you a toothy grin, before picking up his phone that he had placed on the counter, sliding it inside his pocket before lifting his head back up to look at you. 

“Thanks for this, by the way, dollface.” He says quietly, as though he doesn’t want anyone to hear him, as if even in the empty room his vulnerability was too exposed. You offered a smile as you entered his cash into the register and dropped the change into your tip jar - a mason jar you’d decorated with some stick-on diamonds from The Dollar Tree and painted your name on with some cheap paint. 

“Dollface?” you asked with a cocked brow, questioning the nickname, you weren’t even sure he knew your actual name. 

Adam simply wiggled his eyebrows in a playful way that caused laughter to burst from your chest.

“Oh, fuck off that’s awful,” you groan remembering where he had gotten that particular name from. Though you had to admit, it didn’t feel as cringy coming from Adam’s mouth.

“It is.” Adam agreed with the biggest shit-eating grin you’d ever seen. He looked like the cutest thing, standing with his hands pushed into his pockets and his shoulders raised almost touching his ears. It eluded boyish charm, but with just the right amount of cockiness and confidence that your heart fluttered. Hannah really didn’t appreciate what she had, did she?

“I should get going.” He said glancing up at the clock. It was just about 8, meaning if you were lucky you’d have time to get changed and find something to eat before heading to Mickey’s. Maybe even have time to swing by your apartment and take Axel out for a quick walk before your shift started at 10. 

You offer Adam a nod. “Yeah. I’m sure you want to get home to Hannah, tell her all about your big news.” You continue to finish your closing checks. You glance over your shoulder at him, watching him hover about. He blew a puff of air at the hair that was hanging down onto his cheeks 

“Give me your hand.” You said to him, he paused and looked up at you. You weren’t exactly sure why you thought this was a good idea, but you took his offered hand in yours pulling it closer and took the pen you had stashed away in your apron carefully writing your phone number across his palm with a smiley face underneath. “If you ever want to talk to someone to talk to about a role, or just need a friend,” you explained with a shrug. You were aware he had a girlfriend, and that it might be seen as wrong to give your phone number to him. But it was abundantly clear that he needed a friend and, well you could do with one too. 

“Thanks, dollface, you’re kinda sweet you know that?” You roll your eyes, failing to hold back the laugh that bubbles forward from your lips. Shaking your head you drop his hand and say that you’re going into the office to grab your bag and jacket. He nods, and as you exit the counter area, you fully expect him to be gone by the time you get back. When he’s still there, you’re surprised, to say the least. 

“Not to be rude or anything, but how come you’re still here?” You say, shrugging on your jacket and throwing your bag over your shoulder, coming out from behind the counter and making sure it was locked, facing Adam and again realising just how tall he was. 

“I actually don’t know, I know I should be getting home to Hannah and stuff but I’m actually kind of mad at her, so, yeah,”

“How come you’re mad? Sounds like a stupid question I know but I’m genuinely curious,” you said as you tilted your head solely so you could look up at him. He gestured to the door and you shrugged, confused as to what he was implying. He sighed. 

“Can I walk you home? It’s not safe out on the streets, especially in New York. I’ll tell you why on the way as well.” 

You contemplated his suggestion and weighed the pros and cons. On the negative side, he could turn out to be a serial killer or some weirdo, you weren’t one to listen to gossip but you hadn’t exactly heard the best rep about him. You might not trust Hannah but you didn’t want to risk your life on her being a dramatic liar. On the plus side, you would have a strong, tall man to come to your defence whilst walking home.

“Fine, you can walk me home. But we have to be quick because I start my shift at the bar in an hour and a half,” you say, heading towards the door and flicking the lights off as you went past, allowing Adam to pass you before you locked up the place. 

“That’s fine, _dollface_ ,” he says with a shit-eating grin and you can’t help the smile that the nickname brings to your lips. It wasn’t creepy like when the other guy says it at the coffee shop, or when people catcall or shout out on the street, it was endearing, affectionate almost. 

“So that’s gonna be a thing now? 

“What do you mean?” 

“You know, the whole dollface thing?” You say with a small smirk and a laugh as you notice the tips of his ears become red as he begins to blush, losing his cocky demeanour and replacing it with something soft and sweet. 

“I mean, do you mind it?” 

You shrugged with a soft smile. 

“Just don’t stare at my tits or arse while you say it. Then it’s creepy.”

“They are nice tits.” he said, with a quick glance. Again you didn’t mind, not only had you instigated it, but you gathered he was just a flirty guy, he wasn’t actually coming on to you. Or at least that was the vibe you were getting. 

You two started walking in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable silence like you usually experienced with people, it was a silence which felt like you had known for a long time. It felt comfortable, natural almost. After a few minutes, he began talking. 

“So I’m pissed at Hannah,” he said quietly, and you looked at him as you walked side by side, understanding how he felt considering you felt pissed at Hannah at least 85% of the time and that was generous. 

“Can I ask why?”

He took a deep breath in and exhaled heavily before continuing, 

“It’s just, she does this all the time and I always seem to be making excuses for her and I’m kinda sick of it, it’s like she doesn’t care about my feelings even though I put so much fucking effort into this relationship that we have,” by now his voice had risen and you stopped, turning to him and placing a hand on his arm, not caring if you were overstepping boundaries, you didn’t want him making a scene, it wouldn’t look good for either of you. 

“You know last time I got a callback, I was so excited to tell her. Sat in that uncomfortable chair of hers she insists on keeping in the kitchen all fucking day. Waited to tell her all day. Then she came home. And yeah she was happy for me, but she fell asleep.” He pauses, taking a second to regain himself. “And you know I’m pretty sure she was faking it.”

“You’ve got experience with women faking it then have you?” You say with a smirk and an eyebrow raised, and his eyes widen as he fails to not smile. It wasn’t your intention to take away the focus of the conversation from his frustration and feelings, but he seemed to appreciate how you’d managed to lift the mood. You didn’t want to look more into his comment on Hannah, it seemed completely like her to do something like that. 

“Depends on the context you mean there,” he says with a smirk and you just wink at him, still not walking even though you have a shift in an hour and a half. “But I’ll have you know, women never need to fake it with me.” 

“Oh, I’m sure.” You grin and start to walk again, you were only a couple blocks from your apartment now.

When you had turned the key to your apartment door, you turned back to look at him. Deciding to take the plunge, and do something stupid. 

“Do you want to come inside? Least I can do after you’ve walked me home,” you say, feeling yourself become shy as you ask him. You knew the guy had a girlfriend, you weren’t trying to come onto him or anything, but still, the whole ‘do you wanna come inside’ thing felt a bit cliché to you. 

He ran his hand through the hair at the back of his neck, a nervous trait he had which you had picked up on, but after a few seconds, he nodded. 

“Yeah sure, that sounds nice,” he said with a smile, and you reciprocated as you opened the door to the apartment and stepped one foot in, Adam just behind you before you were nearly knocked over by a ball of brown and black fluff. 

You giggle as you ruffle Axel's head before ushering him back up the stairs, where he promptly runs and jumps on the couch to wait for you, long pink tongue hanging out of its mouth as it pants. You turn back to Adam, who’s smiling widely. 

“Well, you coming in?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thanks for the support on this fic so far! We're both super excited for this story to unfold.

He stoops to get underneath your doorway, which is admittedly small but EVERYTHING is small in comparison to him. The stairs are nothing to him, he takes them two at a time as he follows you up. He seems out of place in your small studio apartment standing there taking a look around the place before his attention falls back to you. You throw your bag down on the kitchen counter and shrug off your jacket, coming over to place it on the coat peg beside the door before heading to the kitchen area, shouting out to him as you do.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

You hear him shout back a couple of seconds later. "Have you got any milk? Any kind is fine but you know, do you?” You shake your head and smile as you hear his request. Of course, he'd ask for something like milk. This man didn't exactly strike you as the kind to do anything the way society deemed normal.

“Luckily for you, I do. How come you don’t like coffee again?”

“It’s just like,” he shrugs before speaking again, “it’s just toxins and shit like that isn’t it? All the caffeine, I saw a video once said the stuff is poison, so I try to stay away from it. I’m very careful with what goes onto my body.”

There’s an innuendo there, one that begs you to make a joke, but you refrain, as much as you think someone like Adam would approve of your entirely inappropriate and filthy mind, you actually wanted to get to know him better, you still couldn’t help but be a little sarcastic.

“You’re not some kind of gym freak who only eats plain chicken, spinach and huffs protein powder, are you? Not sure I can let myself call someone like that a friend,” you ask with a laugh as you busy yourself making drinks, a glass of milk for Adam and an extra-strong coffee for you, you’d need the energy. You eyed Axel who was eyeing Adam up with curiosity - his head lopped to the side eyes narrowed as he sized him up. Axel was normally funny around strangers, especially when they were in his home, you’d noticed he was extra funny around men and you didn’t like to put much thought into why. Axel wasn’t aggressive or anything like that he just got anxious and needed to be reassured.

Adam’s gaze seemed glued to the dog as well as if he was just as unsure.

“You scared of dogs?” You ask with a raised brow, not to go and stereotype, but men that looked like that weren’t typically the type to be antsy around a walking fluff ball.

“I fucking love dogs, He looks like he’s about to eat my fucking ass off though,” Adam says in response. “Had one when I was a kid, loved that thing.”

“Go say hello then.”

“He won’t fucking bite me?” He asked, already moving to the couch.

“He’s trained only to bite arseholes and people that think mayonnaise is a valid choice of condiment. So as long as you don’t fall into one of those categories”

He let out a laugh, one that you wouldn’t admit was growing on you. Every time he laughed at something you said, you felt your heart leap like you’d achieved something. It didn’t help that his laugh was so full of life and joy, truly it was infectious.

You carried the drinks into your living area and placed them on the coffee table. You couldn’t help but grin at the sight of Adam and Axel both lying on the floor. Axel’s paws raised in the air giving Adam access to his stomach, Adam didn’t seem to mind the dog’s needy behaviour as he gave him all the attention he could. The fact your dog felt as comfortable with Adam so quickly was puzzling, he normally needed to warm up to someone first. You took it as a judge of a character, didn’t you read somewhere dogs can pick up on that sort of thing?

“You boys gonna be okay while I change?” You ask glancing at the time, you still had 45 minutes before you needed to leave.

“Yep, thanks for the drink by the way,” Adam said, and you smiled, willing that feeling in your stomach to piss off. The only way to describe it was giddiness, and you didn’t like where that feeling would lead. _he’s fucking Hannah, he’s dating Hannah._

“No problem, make yourself comfortable, I’ll be as quick as I can,” you said before heading off to the bathroom, grabbing a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a scoop neck black t-shirt and laying them on the lid of the toilet so you could change after a super quick shower.

Before closing the door behind you, you took one last look at Adam, who apparently had found Axel’s toy (a stuffed yellow duck with a bowtie you found in Goodwill and hadn't been able to turn away, the little blue bowtie had long been ripped off and lost but that didn't put Axel off.) and was waving it around encouraging him to chase it. It was adorable and made you want to laugh and go back to them, but alas, you had a shift.

Water poured over your body as you stepped into the spray, careful not to get your hair wet, the nights were still too cold to be leaving the house with wet hair. Besides you didn’t exactly have loads of time to spare to dry and style it.

Even with the world’s shittiest water pressure, the shower was soothing, helping to wash away the stress and anxieties that came with life, as temporarily as it might last. You’d seen something about that online, that showering releases endorphins in the brain and makes you happy. So did running but you weren’t exactly going to make that part of your daily routine. Not without some major encouragement.

Adam seemed like the running type you thought to yourself before shaking your head and washing the suds off your body, quickly getting out and drying yourself off. You pulled on your clothes and threw your hair into a sloppy ponytail, deciding that it would have to do.

Checking the time you noticed that you still had around 35 minutes until your shift, so you decided to throw on some simple makeup, meaning concealer, mascara and a quick "don't fuck with me winged eyeliner to accentuate your eyes and lipstick to help colour your lips a little. You didn’t look half bad, not drop dead gorgeous but good enough for work, at least you did after you pulled a few strands of hair from your ponytail to frame your face nicely. You pulled on your boots, the pair that somehow managed to make your legs look great _and_ be comfortable after a long night of running around making drinks.

When you returned to the living area, Adam was still on the floor, Axel beside him, allowing Adam to lazily stroke his stomach, his tongue was flopped out his mouth in a complete state of bliss. Unable to hold back a giggle, Adam turned in a lax manner, smiling softly when he saw you. You came over to sit on the couch in front of them, but it wasn’t long before Adam spoke to you.

“Come down here,” he said softly and you cocked your head at him, smiling but confused.

“What do you mean?” You asked him, and he smiled even wider at you as he gestured to the other side of Axel. You suddenly understood what he meant. Slowly, you lowered yourself to the floor from the couch, stopping your movements when you were eye-level with Adam, whose hand was still moving slowly on Axel’s fur, ruffling the golden brown and black coat.

“You good?” You asked him, and he nodded slowly, still smiling at you. You realised how domestic this felt, the girlfriend and the boyfriend or the husband and the wife sitting with their dog, relishing in the simplicities of life.

Except life wasn’t simple. This, what was happening right now, wasn’t simple? Again you bet that twist in your stomach. _He’s got a girlfriend_ you chanted in your head in an attempt to stop your head going any further down that line of thinking.

Lying here with Adam, a man you’d just met, it almost felt like this was your real life. Like this was the norm for you, a small part of you longed for it. You thrived on being alone and being perfectly happy with your own company, it was something you had decided quite young; that you wouldn't allow yourself to need somebody else to feel whole. But this felt nice, comfortable even.

“So, what else is going on in that head?” You asked him, making eye contact and only just noticing how beautiful his eyes were in the low lighting of your living room. Were they brown? Were they hazel? Whatever they were, they were mesmerising, and hard not to get lost in them, you found yourself wanting to get lost in them.

“You don’t want to hear my shit,” he said softly, mimicking what he had said earlier, but this sounded much sadder. Like he had grown used to saying it because he had grown used to people acting that way.

"I think it's a bit too late for that now?" You say with a chuckle as you shift your body closer, careful not to shuffle onto Axel’s paws. You’d made sure to set an alarm for 9:45 so that you wouldn’t be late, so you had time to talk. “I do wanna hear your shit Adam and if you need to let something out I’m here to listen, even though you barely know me,” you added, just to make sure he understood you were serious about the offer. It was important to have someone to talk to, bottling shit up was dangerous and led to a whole load of problems.

“They say it’s better that way sometimes you know,” he sighed and propped himself up on his side so that he could see you better over the fur wall between you.

“What’s better?”

“Talking to someone you barely know about how you feel, apparently because there’s fewer feelings or less attachment involved or some bullshit like that. Heard it at one of my AA meetings,”

“You go to AA meetings?” You ask, surprised but being careful not to judge. From the look of it, he didn’t look like an addict, but you supposed that was the point, everyone had their demons. He nods slowly, averting eye contact for a few seconds like he was ashamed of the fact before looking back at you.

"I've been clean for fuckin' years, well mostly." He started, you glance down from his face to see his hands are bunching in Axel's fur. “But it’s good to go and get shit off my chest ya know? Be around people that get it, makes me feel like I’m not a complete screw-up all the time,”

“I get that.” You offer because you do, part of the reason you moved to New York in the first place was to escape your family and their expectations. Both your siblings and your cousins seemed to have everything figured out, while you were a college dropout working two jobs just to make ends meet. So yes, you could appreciate not wanting to feel like a screw-up.

“You do?” He asks whilst looking at you, and you see something in his eyes that makes him appear in a whole different light. Gone is the cocky and sure-of-himself aura that he has, replaced with vulnerability; the need to be accepted. You nodded, unsure of what words would be suitable for this situation, and you felt the tension and silence get heavier before it was broken ceremoniously by the beeping of your phone, signalling you had 15 minutes to get to work. You sighed a little, and got off the floor slowly, careful not to wake Axel who had fallen asleep in his spread-eagled position. You turned around to grab your phone, and when you turned towards the door, you found Adam stood up.

  
“Thank you, um, for inviting me in, and for uh… for talking,” Adam said in a soft voice and you smile at him, wondering if it was appropriate to bring him in for a hug and then deciding you didn’t care. You step over Axel and hold your arms out to him, wondering if he was going to reject the gesture.

  
When he shows no signs of spooking, you wrap your arms tentatively around him, well around as much as you could of him, considering how broad he was. He reciprocates the tightness of the hug and it lasts a nice few seconds before you’re pulling away, explaining that you have to work.

  
“Where exactly is this second job?” Adam asks you, and you tilt your head, looking up at him inquisitively. He’s still holding you against him, though not as tight, allowing you to step away from him if you wanted too, but you didn’t want to. You were quite happy right where you were, a thought you didn’t want to look too far into. _girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend._ you start your chant again. Besides, even if he was single you didn’t really have the time or motivation to date, someone. The idea of going out and finding a partner was horrifying.

  
“Just so uh, I can ya know, come rant to you about the world and how shitty it is,” he stutters to you and you laugh a little. “I work at Mickey’s, on the corner of Flatbush Avenue and Church Avenue, you know where that is?” Adam nods and smiles at you toothily, and you can’t help but think about how cute he looks, smiling with inhibitions and looking truly happy.

  
“Anyway, I have got to get off so I will see you whenever you want a rant, okay?” You say with a smile and you grab your phone off the couch, walking over to grab your jacket and slipping it on.  
Adam slips past you and into the street, waiting for you to shut the door and make a show of locking your door since the lock is less predictable than a game of Rusian roulette.

  
“See you dollface, thanks for letting me… whatever,” he said with a smile before awkwardly waving bye and starting to walk down the stairs of your apartment complex, leaving you standing in the corridor and smiling like an idiot.

  
And all because one person had come in looking for their girlfriend. Who would have thought?

===

He kicked his feet as he made his way home. The subway would be quicker yes, but he still wasn’t sure he was ready to go home, however, he didn’t really have anywhere else to go.

He’d quickly left - shit he hadn’t even found out your name, how the hell could he spend all day with someone and open up so much and not even find out their name. Fuck he was a stupid asshole.

He supposes that gives him a reason to see you again if only to solve the mystery.

He was tempted to turn around and make his way to that bar you apparently worked at but it was 10 o’clock on a Friday night, you’d probably be swamped. Besides he didn’t want to bother you even more, no matter how much you’d listened and reassured him… you couldn’t actually enjoy hearing some stranger go on and on about their shit. Going off your attitude towards Hannah he guesses you have to listen to her about as much as everyone else does. So instead of doing what he wanted to do, he continued to make his way home, dragging his feet the entire time.

Today had not at all gone the way he thought it would, he hadn’t exactly had plans for the day but this was the last thing expected. When he’d gotten the call from the casting agents he was beyond himself with excitement he wanted to tell everyone he saw on the streets. He’d refrained, just barely.

Then he’d been pissed because Hannah had said she was working, which was a lie and she wouldn’t answer his calls or texts. Which was typical of her recently.

She’d gotten so clingy when she found out that he was going to be on Broadway, acting like it was going to get in the way between them. But then she went and started giving him shit for going to rehearsal and for wanting to take it seriously. She bitched when he wasn’t around and then when he was all she did when he was with her was bitch about her friends and her life while making no fucking effort to do anything about it.

He let the door close behind him with a thud. Hannah was sitting on the couch with an open tub of cool whip in her lap, she looked up at the noise of the door closing. “Hey babe, how are you?” She said with a smile, still eating the cool whip without getting off the couch to greet him, seemingly too comfortable. Or maybe she was just lazy?

  
“I’m good,” he says whilst sighing, knowing he’s lying to himself but too nice to actually tell her what’s pissing him off. Since when did he become like this? Trying to make her happy despite himself? He moves to head to the bedroom wanting some space from Hannah because he’s not exactly in the mood for her.

  
“Good.” Hannah responded, still not even moving from the couch to talk to him. “I’m glad you're home! Can you read through these pages for me? Let me know what you think?”  
Something in him snapped then. The way she instantly wanted to turn things on herself. As if the “how are you” was nothing more than an empty gesture to make her feel like she wasn’t a shitty self-centred person. You’d said as much this morning, hadn’t you? That she was always focused on herself and no one else.

  
“Actually, no, I’m fucking not,” he says with a cool tone and she looks up at him in alarm, and he already knows this is gonna end with her leaving to go do something until all hours of the night, keeping him up worrying even though he knows he shouldn’t care, knows she has done this too many times just to keep him on the hook.

  
“...Why not? Did everything go okay with that job?” She says in a tone that he knows isn’t innocent, although it may seem that way to anyone on the outside. He turns around to face her fully from where he’s been absentmindedly staring at the wall, and she recoils slightly at the intensity of his gaze, no matter how many times she’s seen it. He couldn’t fucking believe it. She had remembered that he was finding out if he got the job today, yet it appeared to be the last thing on her mind. Not a single attempt to contact him and ask about it, in fact, she’d gone out of her way to ignore his calls.

  
“Oh no, I got the job. That’s exactly what I’m pissed off about Hannah.”

  
“Why would you be pissed off if you got the job? That doesn’t make any fucking sense Adam!” she said in that tone she had, the one that she used when she was talking down to him, and Adam can feel himself getting frustrated, can feel the familiar bubble of rage with each aggravating word which leaves her lips.

  
“Because I got the job, and the first person I wanted to fucking tell was you! I was so fucking happy because I landed this fucking stupid job, and when I went to go and tell you at your job, you weren’t fucking there! Why weren’t you fucking there Hannah?!”

  
He’s yelling now, but he’s oblivious to that, doesn’t give a fucking shit to what the neighbours are gonna think, what they’re gonna do. Hannah’s stood up now, and they’re both yelling at each other, though he doesn’t register what she’s saying, all he can see is her lips moving rapidly with each word as blood rushes through his ears, creating a symphony of rage and awakening a monster within him which needs to be controlled.

“God you always do this Adam!” He can hear her yell, and that snaps him out of it with a roar, not caring if it scares her because fuck, this is her fault and she is going to admit it.

  
“Do what?! Lie to people about where I am, about what I do, try to control them?! Oh wait, that’s all you Hannah, so tell me, what exactly have I done even though this is your fucking fault!” He yells at her and he can see the tears start to stream down her face. Crocodile tears. He knows they aren’t real, just another trick and trap in order to get him to feel bad, to own up for something that he hasn’t even done. It feels just like when he was a kid, getting punished for nothing, for something he hadn’t even done.

  
“Always try to make me feel like the shitty one in this relationship when in reality I’m the one putting in all the work here! I actually can’t believe you!” By now Hannah is by the door, and Adam is honestly surprised that he hasn’t started trashing the place by now. Though he’s sure he’s going to start soon.

  
“I’m going out, I can’t be dealing with this shit, have fun by yourself, I’ll be back in the morning, dick!” She yells as she slams the door of her apartment, and Adam wants to yell, scream, throw something until he can’t feel the rage inside him anymore.

  
“Fucking find Hannah! Have fun telling Marnie what a cunt I am, I’m sure she’ll eat it all up and feed into your fucking victim complex,” he shouts at the closed door. He knew he was loud enough for his voice to follow her down the corridor. Fuck.

  
He let out a roar wanting to break something, instead, he just settled on knocking one of Hannah’s ugly chairs to the floor. He needed to run or to fuck or do something to let out some of this anger and rage. But running meant giving up on the freedom of having the empty apartment and well the only person for him to fuck had just walked out the door.

  
Instead, he made his way into the bedroom falling onto the bed and letting out another groan. God, he hated when Hannah did this. She made everything about her, and how it impacted her life. He wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted a drink. His hand came up to wipe his face, causing him to remember the numbers you had scrawled onto his hand what felt like hours and hours ago now.  
He took his phone from his pocket and thumbed in his password. His face twisted slightly at him and Hannah on his wall page. Why couldn’t things just go back to when they were happy.

He pushed the thought aside, he didn’t want to think about Hannah right now. She was the one causing his brain to be fucking sore. Adam quickly opened the messaging app and typed in your number, he was about to press the call number, leave a voicemail if he had to but it seemed over eager. He’d already invaded your life too much today and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop, telling someone else about all the cracks he was starting to find in his relationship would make them real, he wasn’t ready for that. So he closed the app and instead pulled up his messages.

  
He took a moment to think about what to say, even started to type out some long-winded message about everything and nothing but deleted it all. Instead, he decided to keep things simple.

  
> Hey dollface.

> I’m glad I ran into you today.

  
> :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Commanderbensolo here, we're all so glad that you're liking this fic so far, we really didn't expect the amount of positive feedback we've been getting and we're so grateful for it, so thank you! We hope you like this and future chapters!

#  Chapter 3 

> Hi dollface. 

> I’m glad I ran into you today. 

> :)

You’d lost count of how many times you’d looked at the message  and smiled like an idiot. Two messages from one guy had  your heart fluttering like a school girl who’s crush waved at her .  It scared you how much of a connection you felt to him in such a small period of time, it was if the pair of you had an infinity for one another. Truly terrifying. 

You’d spent longer than you’d care to admit drafting and redrafting a response the morning you got it, but everything just felt wrong. It felt wrong to have this draw to him, he had a girlfriend, she might be a top grade cunt but still his girlfriend. So, you’d deleted the message every single time and closed the chat. 

It had been a week since. You’d left him on read for a week. You weren’t sure he was the type to overthink, you hope he wasn’t. Being left on read like that would destroy you, and it was destroying you that you just couldn’t figure out how to reply. No matter what you wrote your anxiety told you it sounded like you were trying to come on to him, and that was the last thing you wanted. You just enjoyed his company, he was so fun and energetic. His entire attitude was infectious and it made you feel like you could take over the world.  You couldn’t remember the last time you had felt that way with someone, if ever. You were addicted to the feeling, and that scared you.

Work was a good way to take your mind off your Adam anxiety. Even if it brought a whole new level of problems. Shitty customers being the main feature of the week. 

You were currently in the middle of explaining to a stubborn customer that particularly stubborn lady that no, you can’t order a large flat white. 

“But I get it all the time. I don’t see why you can’t just do it. You’re causing a scene.” 

You wanted nothing more than to show her an actual scene, but instead, you forced your smile. 

“I can do a large latte with an extra shot of coffee, which is basically what a flat white is-”

“I just want a large flat white!” she snapped, you could tell she was close to asking for your manager and you knew Ray would be pissed if you had to get him to deal with this, he’d shout at the woman which honestly you would be right there with him but the hassle it would cause didn’t seem worth it.

“I’ve already explained ma’am that I can’t give you a large flat white.” You could technically just give her the latte with an extra shot or two but then the price wouldn’t add up, besides she’d go to another barista and ask for the same thing and frankly you liked being right. 

“I told you not to make a scene.” her voice was raised no doubt causing the other patrons, “Just give me what I asked for.” 

“She’d told you she can’t lady and you're the one making a fucking scene.” A new voice interrupted causing your heart to stop and speed up at the same time, truly an oxymoron you didn’t understand. 

Adam. 

Your eyes found him, standing in the queue. Well not a queue but next to the sandwich counter were a queue would normally form. His intention was focused solely on the woman. He looked... Intense. That was the only word. 

“Who the hell are you?” The lady snapped, and you had to fight the urge to tell her that that move was indeed a mistake. He moved up and stood next to you, towering over her without even trying. You saw her shrink back slightly, clearly intimidated by his sheer size alone. 

“I’m her friend, and you’re being very rude to her right now, and I do not fucking appreciate it. She’s already told you that she literally cannot do your order, so either accept that and order something else or fucking get out of here!” He said this quietly, though his voice got deeper with each sentence, and you would be lying to yourself if you said that it wasn’t sexy the way his voice dropped several octaves defending your honour. 

Shit, was that what you were now? A damsel in distress now?

The woman’s jaw seemed to be on the floor. She clearly wasn’t inspecting someone to jump in to call her out on her shit. She pushed the handle of her probably fake bag up her shoulder and stormed out the shop, the door swinging shut behind her. You leaned over the bench to watch her walk away , nearly laughing as she  paused to pull out her phone, furiously tapping away at the key s , no doubt telling all her shitty friends about her experience. 

“You didn’t text me back.” Adam said drawing your attention away from the woman. All amusement you felt at the situation dissipated instantly. Dread taking its place completely. 

“Oh yeah.” You said awkwardly biting your cheek, guilt consuming you.. You avoided looking at him as he stepped closer up to the counter so your conversation could be more private. 

“I just don’t get it, you give me your number and say you want to be my friend and then just fucking blow me off?” He didn’t sound angry, frustrated maybe or was it disappointed. Either way the sharpness of his voice made you want to curl in a ball and be swallowed up completely. 

You have no words, you’ve got nothing to offer in defence or as an excuse. So you do the only thing you can think of. You turn away and busy your hands while your mind goes wild. 

There’s something calming about the process of making a drink, the way your hands know the routine and can perform the steps without a second thought. It gave you space to think. 

“I’m sorry.” You said to him as you turn back to him, hot chocolate in your hands, complete with squirty cream and chocolate sprinkled on top - no marshmallows you’d taken notice of him picking them off last time.  His facial expression immediately morphed into one of surprise, as he took it slowly from your hands as you tried to ignore the slight brush of his fingers against yours. 

“I just… I didn’t know what to fucking say, and I tried to message back and I felt like an idiot so I just thought it was better not to… not to message back at all. I’m really sorry, Adam.” You said all this with your eyes making contact with his, meaning every word that you said.

“Well, I get that, but still, it hurt a lot, and I kinda needed to just… ugh, I don’t know-”

“Rant?” You offered with a smile, and he nodded, his shoulders dropping, whether it was from defeat or exhaustion though, you didn’t know.  You’d heard from Hannah that the two of them had fought when he’d gotten home after spending time with you, they’d since made up but you still felt guilty. As if you complaining about Hannah and encouraging him to air his grievances with her had caused this. As much as you’d come to harbour a crush on the man, you didn’t want to be the one to ruin his relationship, that was the other thing that kept you from messaging back. The title of homewrecker or boyfriend stealer or anything Hannah would come up with is not something you want on your conscience. But seeing him here clearly worked up and needing a place to unload made you regret it all. He needed a friend, and you were more than happy to be there for him. 

“Listen, I finish my shift in 15 minutes, thank fuck, by the way, do you wanna maybe go somewhere and just talk?” 

“Yeah, that sounds fucking amazing honestly,”

“Can we swing by my place first? Axel hasn’t had his walk yet.” you add quickly. After all you had promised him a nice long walk this morning before dashing out the house to make it to work on time. 

Adam seemed to light up at the mention of the dog. Perhaps introducing the two was a terrible terrible mistake. “Can we take him to the park?” 

You wave him off with your hand, “Go drink your hot chocolate and I’ll see you in five.” You said glancing at your watch you still had ten minutes but if you were super nice to Ray you were almost positive he’d cover you until whoever was down to take over got in. 

“Ray!” you called as you made your way to the back. 

“Y/n! Just the little lady I wanted to see.” he said in a voice that was far to chipper. You knew exactly what was coming. 

“No! I’ve covered 4 shifts the past two weeks.”

“It’s just until Hannah gets in to take over.” Oh of fucking course. 

“No. I have plans. Besides, you never pay me for working late. You can cover.” You said undoing your apron and shoving it into his open hands. “I’m leaving now.” You said. Screw him, fuck this job. You pushed past him to get your bag from its hanger. 

You considered making yourself a quick coffee before leaving like you always did, but you just couldn’t stand the idea of being in this building for any longer. You practically saw these four walls when you closed your eyes, heard the buzz of the coffee grinder and the squeak of the door when it opened in your dreams. 

“Ha’way then let's get going,” you said as you made your way to the door. Adam quickly moves to follow, his hand reaching over your head to open the door for you. Normally, acts like that would drive you crazy, but the fact he was just so big and could reach over your head was too distracting. 

It felt oddly strange to walk down the street in the middle of the day with someone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I just get overwhelmed by the idea of … new things? I can cope with change fine, but people can… make me freak out. It’s just not something I handle well.”

“I get it, honestly. Whenever I get a new part like in a play or something, I’m fine at rehearsals and all that but when it gets to opening night? Shit, I freeze up and act like a deer caught in headlights.”

“How do you cope with it?” You ask, walking across the road and seeing your apartment complex up ahead. 

“I don’t? I mean I just let myself loose ya know. Get excited and let myself be caught up in the moment by my castmates or something ya know?” 

You nodded. You got that, it was nice to know that you weren’t alone in this type of situation or these types of feelings. 

“But there is another solution to when I’m feeling really angry or if I’m just wanting to let my feelings out,” you cock your head, intrigued at what his next words will be. 

“And what exactly is that solution?” 

“Fuck somebody into the mattress.” 

You don’t even bother to hold back the snort that leaves your mouth. “I’ll take that into consideration for the next time I feel overwhelmed. Though I suppose it wouldn’t help me with meeting people, since you know, meeting people is a key step in getting fucked.” 

Adam lets out a laugh. “I knew you’d be into it.” he waved his fingers as if to establish his point. 

“And how much time have you spent thinking about what I’d be into hotshot?.” You raise an eyebrow. It was weird how easy this dynamic felt. If anyone else had dared say something like that you’d have found a way to leave so quickly. But maybe it was just because Adam was so weird in a way that worked for him? You’d only really spoken to him twice but there was something so freeing about how free he let himself be. It was a shame someone so carefree and positive was dating someone so who was the walking embodiment of chlamydia. 

Perhaps there was a part of you that still felt bad for openly flirting with a taken man, but it was all just some fun wasn’t it. There was no real feeling or intention behind it, Adam hadn’t actually given any thought to it had he. He was just being friendly. It didn’t matter that you wouldn’t mind him devouring you. He was committed to Hannah completely. Or at least that’s how you’re choosing to justify it. 

Adam’s laugh echoed in throughout the alleyway you always walked down since it was an excellent short cut. 

===

The park was quieter than expected it to be, there’d been a few runners and a handful of other dog walkers about but for the most part, you had a nice reprieve from the business of the city. 

At some point you and Adam had found a nice piece of grass and settled down. Axel had his head nuzzled against your stomach, completely worn out from chasing Adam all over the place. You of course had not joined them as they galavanted about, you felt tired just from watching. 

“I don’t think he’s had that much exercise ever.” you sighed as you ran your hands over his neck and shoulders. 

“He’s an energetic breed, he needs exercise.” you look up to Adam who was lying back, supporting himself on his elbows. He’d long lost his shirt, opting to use it to wipe up his sweat. At first you couldn’t look at him for longer than a glance, you’d expected him to be built, hell you knew he was. His t-shirts clung to him in a way that made it clear he worked out, but seeing him without said shirts. It was sinful, and he knew it, having the nerve to grin whenever you quickly looked away from him, because he knew he was fucking hot. The smug bastard. So you’d forced yourself to get over it. 

“I know he does. I told my roommate that when she brought him home but she insisted.” You explained, “Told me she’d look after it and I’d not have to do anything, then slowly she lost interest and then moved out leaving him with me.” 

Oh she’d asked you first, told you she didn’t want to but the building her and her girlfriend were moving into were really strict about pets, as if your landlord wouldn’t kick you to the street if he found out you had a 38 kg ball of fur living with you. Not like you could say no. 

“Damn that's fucked.” 

“Yup, but it meant I ended up with the bestest boy in the entire world.” you cooed as you bought both hands to fuss with Axel’s face. His tall thumped against the ground as he took in your praise. “Just wish I had more time to take him for walks and shit, you know. He’s so cooped up most of the time.” 

“You know I could take him out.” Adam says as she sits up and starts to stretch his shoulders and arms. “I run a shit load, helps me get my head right, think it would be cool to have company.”

You couldn’t believe he was offering to spend time with your dog. It seemed like such a weird thing for someone you just met to suggest, but also really sweet? That he would think to offer. 

“Oh, I see how it is.” you say with a grin. “All this was a ploy to traffic my dog. I bet you didn’t even get that acting job, you just need a reason to speak to me, to get me and Axel to trust you.” 

Adam lunges forward tackling you to the ground causing you to cry out with laughter as the pair of you rolled around on the grass, playing fighting. You were shocked Axel was allowing it, he was usually very protective of people touching you, but the dog was yapping along trying to join in. Apparently Adam had won him over as quickly as he had you. 

Eventually the two of you parted, taking a second to regain your breath. “You wanna go get some pizza?” Adam asked, staring up at the sky. No comment on what he’d just done, you weren’t even sure he let himself realise the effect his behaviour would have on others. Or maybe he did and he didn’t care. All you knew was that your body was ablaze, you were flustered and couldn’t stop thinking about the weight of him on top of you, panting, moaning. Fuck you needed to get laid. 

“Pizza?” You ask, turning your head to him. “Sounds fucking amazing.” 

Adam was on his feet in a flash, this man and his endless amount of energy. You weren’t sure you could keep up with him for much longer. His hand shot out to offer you help up. You didn’t need help standing up, but your body was still burning for his touch so you gladly accepted his help. 

“You know it’s been a while since I’ve done something like this.” You say as you begin to make your way out the park, “Just went out and spent time with a friend.” 

“Fuck seriously?” 

“I’m not exactly a super outgoing person you know? Like don’t get me wrong I love being social and shit, I just don’t have that many friends… When my roommate moved out she kinda took my social circle with her.” You sigh, when you lived with Allie you’d been out all the time drinking or spending time with her and her friends. You’d been sure they were your pals too, but then she’d moved and the invitations to hang out with them just stopped. You weren’t about to message them first, that just seemed desperate.

“Huh, that’s fucking bullshit. Their loss though.” Adam said as you continued to walk. 

“Yea, so I guess that’s the other reason I didn’t message you back. People generally don’t want to hang out with me.” You hated how pathetic you sounded so full of self hatred and anxiety. Fuck. 

“Then their fucking idiots, you're great and you need to shut up with all that bullshit. Seriously. The worst thing you can ever do in the world is hate yourself, you’ve got to be your number one fucking fan. Besides, there's nothing sexier than a woman with confidence.” 

“Oh and here I was thinking my shy and timid ‘come help me break out of my shell.’ persona was reeling in the men!” You joke even going as far to act in a shy manner.

Adam being attracted to Hannah made sense now, if he thought confident women were sexy. Hannah had so much confidence, even if you found half of it so unjust. And it wasn’t that you weren’t confident, you were… it’s just that you were so used to people just using you or forgetting about you when it didn’t suit them. 

“That’s what that was? I just thought you liked people thinking you're a bitch.” He grinned and quickly moved out the way of your playful smack. 

“You’ll pay for that one Sackler.” 

===

Your phone ringing caught you off guard, you’d apparently fallen asleep on the sofa. You sat up to stretch and looked over to see Adam had fallen asleep as well, the bowl of popcorn he’d been holding had fallen onto the floor spilling everywhere. 

It was a sight to behold, he looked so much calmer when he slept. There was something so strange about it. You realised it was because he was so still, all that energy that usually coursed through his veins was gone, or recharging. Axel had snuggled between the two of you, his head resting on Adam’s lap. 

After grabbing a pizza, and being kicked out the shop because they wouldn’t let Axel come in and sit while you ate, you’d suggested heading back to your apartment and Adam had agreed, making you promise to make him more hot chocolate since he’d bought the pizza. 

The two of you had turned on a movie, you’d zoned out pretty quickly to what it was. Something shooty and actiony you weren’t sure Adam was paying attention either instead listening as you talked and you listening to him in return. Eventually you’d obviously fallen asleep. 

“Are you going to get that kid?” Adam grumbled twisting on the sofa.  _ Kid?  _

“Erh yea.” you replied jumping up and rushing over to your phone seeing it was your mother calling, which was rather bizarre, she never normally bothered. But it had been a while since you’d talked. 

“Dollface?” He asked, suddenly sitting up. “Shit.” 

“You alright there?” you ask as you decline the call. Serves her right for calling you in the middle of the night, she had a habit of forgetting the time difference. Or perhaps she just didn’t care.

“Yeah just forgot where I was.” He stretched and then rubbed Axel’s head. He checked the time on his watch. “I should get going.” 

It was almost 3am. You were sure Hannah would be wondering where he was. You don’t think you’d seen him on his phone at all. You want to tell him to stay, to just take the sofa for the night, it was so late. But not only did it seem to be over stepping, falling asleep was one thing, but actively asking him to stay over was another thing completely. Besides, he was the one to bring up leaving. And not in the probing way people sometimes do to hint that they want you to ask them to stay.

“Yeah probably you have rehearsal tomorrow right?” 

“Yup. You at work?” He asks as he stands and heads to grab his shoes. 

“As usual, stop by? I’ll give you a friends and family discount on a hot chocolate. And by that I mean, on the house.” You say with a smile as you follow him down to the door, you hoped he would because Adam had slowly become the highlight of your week. 

He nodded and offered Axel a goodbye pat before giving you his farewells and making his way home. 

“Text me when you get home!” You call to him as he makes his way down the street, he turns and brings his ridiculously large hands to cup his mouth, using them as a megaphone. “Only if you promise to fucking reply this time!” 

You draw your finger in a cross shape across your chest, hoping he understands the “cross my heart and hope to die.” gesture. 

You watched him walk until he was no longer in view then closed the door behind you, placing your plank of wood against the door in an attempt to secure it since the lock wasn’t exactly the most reliable. Should you get it fixed? Yes, yes you should.

When you got upstairs you saw that your mother had called twice more, so you resigned yourself to having to call her back. So you pulled up your WhatsApp and pressed the call button as you slumped down on the sofa, taking in the mess of the room. Axel had started to pick at the popcorn on the floor as well as the few pieces of pizza crusts left over. He’d get bored soon and you’d have to clean it up, but that seemed like a problem for the morning. 

“Hey mum.” You forced a smile when she answered, she could always tell when you weren’t smiling on the phone with her.

Your mother instantly went into her usual spiel about how hard it is to get in touch with you and telling you all the family news. Your cousin had just had a baby, your other cousin Jenny, had gotten engaged. Your youngest sister, Kai, had won first place in her dance contest. All things you were aware of because you followed them on instagram, well you had but then seeing their happy successful lives while you were just… surviving made you feel like shit. So you’d made a self care decision and soft blocked them. Not your little sisters though, Kai and Izzy were the only members of your family you really spoke to, your grandma as well whenever you could. 

As usual she didn’t ask you how school was going - not that you were still going to school, but she didn’t know that. And you didn’t want to give her the benefit of being right about you not being able to make it. Besides you were going to go back to school once you had enough savings. You’d promised yourself that much. 

You got so bored of listening to prattle on about her plans for the day and shouting at your sister to get ready for school that you decided to start picking up the spilt food, just to cope.

It wasn’t until you had cleaned up the mess and were settling into bed that you zoned back into what she was saying. Typical of her not to notice you weren't paying attention, the woman just liked a reason to hear herself talk.

“Of course you’ll have to send your measurements over so we can get you a bridesmaid dress sorted, really Y/N you love to be an inconvenience don’t you. Moving all the way to New York for school. Why couldn’t you just go to Edinburgh or London like your cousins.” 

You held your retort on how you seemed to be an inconvenience to her no matter what. 

“And I assume you won’t be bringing anyone with you.” she let out a cluck, a fucking cluck. “Since you’re probably disappointing me in that department as well. Honestly I swear you’re staying single just to spite me. You know me and all my sisters were engaged by your age, and now both your cousins are settling?” she sighs. 

“Listen mum, as much as I’m loving his conversation, I have work in” you pause to look at the clock, 3:34am. _S_ _hit._ “in two hours and I’ve not really slept yet so I’m going to have to let you go.” 

“Oh you always do this the second I bring up dating, you know you’re not exactly getting younger, and let's face it you’re not exactly smart enough to be successful by yourself."

You rubbed the heels of your hand into your eyes. Years ago you’d be crying, a weeping mess over your mother’s low opinion of you and her absolute delight over bringing you down. But now you were used to it. What did it matter what she thought, it just fueled your fire. Helped motivate you to do better, if only to prove her wrong.

“I’ll have you know mother, I am seeing someone.” _Fuck._ You had a tendency to do this, tell your mother you were dating just to get her off your back. Only to have broken up with them for some reason or another the second anyone started to ask too many questions. 

“Oh here we go again, what’s his name this time then.” 

_Fuck_

Every single name seemed to have gone from your mind, you couldn’t think of anything other than names that were clearly made up. Tim? John? Sebastian? There was no way your mother would believe that. 

Your phone buzzed in your ear indicating you had a message, you brought your phone away from your ear to check what it was. 

Adam. 

> Home :)

“Adam?” your mother asks. 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck_. You’d said that out loud? 

“Yes, his name is Adam.” You confirm, your entire body cringing inwardly. What had you just done? 

It was okay, neither of them will ever have to know. Adam would never have to find out you told your mother he was your boyfriend, had you even said it was him? No, you’d just said his name. You could think of lots of Adam’s like….. well maybe you couldn't.

It was a common name, it's fine. Plus he wouldn’t know. Ever. 

And neither would your family, as always you’ll tell her that you broke up with him in a few months, and that will be that. 

“Will we ever get to meet this one?” 

“I’m hanging up now, because I seriously need to sleep.” you say as you decline and throw yourself onto your bed. She’d probably be ranting about you being rude. You didn’t have it in you to care. Axel jumped up next to you in the bed, nessling himself against you under the blanket. 

You opened the message from Adam, and typed your reply before attempting to get some sleep. 

< That's great hotshot. Get some sleep, you'll need it for rehearsal. 

< (Promised I’d text back see :) :) ) 

> See that wasn’t so hard, was it doll?

< Get fucked Sackler :P

> ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please continue to leave feedback, kudos and don't forget to bookmark lovelies!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys thomasscreasswell here, thanks for all the support you're giving this fic. The comments are really helping me get my shitstorm of a life rn, lemme tell you... I could do with a Sackler hug. But your support is just as good! Enjoy the chapter. 💕💕

“I’m quitting for real this time,” Hannah says with her arms folded, she had come in halfway through the busy lunch rush, asking if Ray was in, and then when he was going to be in as if you were his keeper. She’d then proceeded to tell you about her new job at some gossip magazine? Column blog? Really you had no idea. You knew she was a writer, you remember quite vividly her taking a lot of time off and basically quitting last year to finish a book or something which obviously fell through since she'd come back for the odd few shifts and to ruin your happiness. 

“Okay.” you acknowledged as you continued to wipe down the counter.

“You don’t believe me!” Hannah sounded offended at the idea of her quitting completely was completely preposterous. Well it was, you did think she’d be back in a few months after yet another employer got sick of her impulsive behaviour and complete disregard of professionalism. 

“Hannah I don’t care.” You sigh. She was driving you crazy, it wasn’t even her workday. She wasn’t supposed to be here, couldn’t she have texted Ray? Called him? Seen him at some social event? Instead, she was leaning against the counter getting in your way and draining all your patience. 

“If you’re gonna be here could you, like I don't know, at least take the rubbish out for me?” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way she pretended not to hear the question, avoiding looking at you until you eventually gave into her and grabbed the bag yourself. How in hell was she the older one? You could swear you were more mature at 18 than she is at 26. 

After slamming the bin lid shut and locking it you made your way back into the shop, pausing when you heard Hannah talking to someone. 

“What are you even doing here?” She questions, which meant she wasn’t talking to Ray. 

Adam was here? You could have sworn he had rehearsal today, but then again he sometimes swung by afterwards for a hot chocolate, or glass of milk and sometimes stayed long enough to walk you home. But it was far too early in the day for that. 

“And where did you get that dog? Adam, you’re not picking up dogs from the street again are you? Can you even bring it in here?” Hannah continued, as if on queue there was a bark and a low growl, causing Hannah to squeak. Axel. 

Adam had your fucking dog. 

It had been weeks since you’d agreed to let him take the cooped up ball of fur with him on his runs, to the point you’d told him about the fact you’re door didn’t lock properly - a fact he’d berated you for and then showed up the next day with a bunch of tools and a new lock. You’d bought take out as a thank you and he’d told you to shut up and let him know if you needed anything else fixed (you had a list but you hadn’t felt comfortable enough to ask him yet.).

Before he’d left that day you’d given him the spare key that came with the lock. You trusted him enough. Besides, it meant you didn’t have to plan his runs around you being in. Still, he normally phoned you whenever he wanted to borrow your dog, just so you knew. 

You quickly checked your phone to see if he had tried to tell you, but the only notification you had was a message from Izzy. You’d been avoiding all messages from your family, each of them dying to know more about your “relationship”. At first, you’d played along giving vague details but then you’d gotten a message from your cousin Jade which clearly had not been intended for your eyes. 

> How long before she “breaks up” with this one then? Lmao.

You’d left it on read, and waited for her to realise her mistake, and that had been the last message from any of them you’d answered. You’d have been sad if it wasn’t the truth, you had already been plotting ideas for why you’d broken up with “Adam.” Nothing seemed to fit, it didn’t matter that he wasn’t even your real boyfriend. You couldn’t picture him doing anything that would cause you to leave him.

You swiped the notification off the screen and pushed your phone back into your jean pocket. 

“Jesus Adam, it’s trying to eat me.” Axel had his paws on the counter and was intently focused on Hannah, you found it strangely therapeutic and reassuring that Axel had decided Hannah had bad vibes. Dogs, after all, we're experts on character. 

The dog, however, seemed to instantly lose interest in Hannah when he sensed you, his tail beginning to wag. 

“No, he’s not,” you interrupt as you breeze past her, sliding over the counter to where Adam was standing, Axel instantly at your heels wanting to greet you, you couldn’t help but crouch and let him fuss over you, letting him nuzzle against your face and shoulders. 

“There’s my good boy huh, come to visit me at work!” You coo while you rub his back. 

“That beast’s _yours_?” Hannah asks shocked leaning forward. “Why do you have _her_ dog?” 

You tried not to grit your teeth too much at her attitude, the way she said her, as if it was an insult. 

“I take him for runs with me sometimes.” Adam shrugs, you look up at him, he looks sinfully perfect. His hair was damp with sweat, his entire body had a sheen of it as well making him glow. No one should look that good after running for god knows how long, it must have been a while because you could feel Axel’s still rapid breaths beneath your fingers. What made it worse was the short shorts and tank top showing off those muscles he’d clearly worked hard for. 

Fuck. 

“Did you guys have a good run?” You asked Adam with a smile, painfully aware that Hannah was still there watching you both like a suspicious hawk. 

“Yeah, really good. Went hard and fast too,” he said with a smirk and you had to fight the urge to snort with laughter at the innuendo, whether it was intentional or not. You heard Hannah scoff and you saw her roll her eyes, causing you to suppress your own eye roll of annoyance at her god-complex attitude. 

“You want your hot chocolate?” You pause once again taking in his post-workout form. “No. This is a water kind of occasion. I’ll get you both some water.” You stand up after giving Axel one last pet. Moving to get both a bowl and glass. 

“Adam can I speak to you for a second please?” she paused to glance at you as if you gave a shit about what she wanted to say to Adam. You assumed given the annoyed look on her face it was about you. “Privately?” 

She didn’t wait to hear him respond, instead, she took his hands and pulled him towards the office. Adam just had enough time to thrust Axel’s leash towards you so you could take him behind the counter. You tell he was annoyed by the situation from the way he frowned at you. 

Axel happily settles himself next to the water bowl you’d put down from him. He lapped at the bowl eagerly.

You tried not to listen to their conversation and distracted yourself by serving the group of customers who came in, smiling when they got excited over seeing a dog. 

“I just don’t think it’s appropriate for you to be her friend.” Hannah’s voice caught your attention. She was trying to keep her voice low, but the door to the office was still open causing her voice to carry. 

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?” 

“She’s a good person Hannah, I don’t see why you’re making such a big fuss over it, you know, like you do with everything I do that you don’t like,” you have to resist the urge to laugh at the true statement that comes out of Adam’s mouth and you turn to give the group their drinks, smiling as they said goodbye to Axel. You feel so proud of Adam, finally, he’s fighting to have his voice heard, not letting her manipulate him into doing what she wants. 

“Well, I don’t like her, and I just don’t want you to be friends with her!” 

“You can’t exactly tell me who to hang out with can you? I mean, what are you trying to be, my mother or some shit like that?” 

“Oh fuck you Adam! Just forget it!” You hear her say before you see her storming out of the office and the coffee store, the door slamming slightly on the way out. You look over at Adam, who just looks annoyed, and a little bit sad. 

“Come here a minute,” you say to him, and he walks over to you, sighing as he looks back towards the door. You pour him a glass of water, and hand it to him, looking around the counter to make sure no customers needed to be served before pulling him into the backroom. 

“I hate to be Captain Obvious, but that didn’t look like it went so well,” you say sympathetically. Just because you were a bitch to people most of the time, didn’t mean that you were a bitch to everyone all of the time. He shook his head at you, letting out a bitter laugh as he gulped half of the glass down. 

“She’s just… she’s so full of shit! Trying to tell me who to fucking hang out with and be friends with and shit like that, like she’s my fucking mom! It sucks!” 

“I know Adam, I can see it. But I’m really proud of you for standing up to her like that and standing your ground, maybe now she’ll finally understand how it makes you feel and try to amend her ways,” the words coming out of your mouth leave a bitter taste on your tongue, as if they’re bad for you to say. 

You want to tell Adam to say fuck it and leave her more than anything. But you were starting to think of him as your best friend and friends stand by their friends. You were also very much aware of how intense their relationship was, and you didn’t want to risk Adam, or Hannah thinking this had been your plan. To steal Adam from her. 

He hmms in agreement, though you’re not exactly sure he’s taken in your words. 

“I gotta go shower before rehearsal,” he mumbles, he’s clearly not okay and you're at a loss for how to help him. He reaches over to take the lead from you so he can take Axel. “Can I use your shower?”

You nod but pull the leash away from his grasp. “Adam,” you say, knitting your eyebrows in an attempt to force him to look at you, to truly acknowledge you. 

He glances up at you but struggles to maintain any sort of eye contact. Which was the biggest indicator he was not feeling great? Adam was intense, he seemed to thrive on connecting to others, on looking you in the eye when talking to you. 

“You can talk to me, you know. I’m always going to be right here for you.” 

He nods, “I know.” he takes Axel from you and leaves. Just walks out on you. 

You try not to feel too hurt by his coldness. It’s not aimed at you, it's just him reacting to whatever is happening between him and Hannah. He’d told you that they’d been arguing a lot more about almost everything from what type of cereal they bought to Adam’s job.

You decided you’d give him some space, for now, to get to grips with his thoughts, you’d call him later and see how he was. Maybe even find some funny videos to send him. Those always made him smile. 

===

“Hannah?” You asked, taking in her appearance, you hadn’t seen her since she’d left the coffee shop earlier that day in her mood. But here she was leaning against the bar with perhaps the worst party city wig on you’d ever seen. You didn’t even want to question it. 

“Oh Y/N! I didn’t know you worked here!” she said with a tone of voice that gave away that she did, in fact, know you worked here. 

“Uh yeah, 4 nights a week.” You replied curtly and dug your hands into the pocket of your tiny apron that was part of your uniform for some reason, still you appreciated the pockets. Your boss always insisted on his “girls” wearing fucking tight black pants - preferably leather- and what he liked to call money maker shirts. Basically, anything that showed skin or was tight. You’d been uncomfortable with the objectification at first but this was the job that paid most of your bills, so you’d learned to get on with it.

“Good for you! I can’t even imagine having two shitty jobs. I bet you get all sorts of tips. ” Hannah looked you up and down, clearly disapproving of your uniform which was Hannah’s entire thing. Being a “feminist” but still being a slut-shaming or judging women for their choices. The only time she ever really cared about inequality is when she could pull the sexist card whenever things didn’t go her way.

You force yourself to smile, “I’m sure there’s an actual compliment in there somewhere Hannah. What do you want?”

“Can I have a vodka soda, and a gin and tonic, but can you just put water in the vodka glass?”

“So you want vodka, soda and water in a glass?” you ask with raised eyebrows.

“No, are you mad? It’s for Adam and I assume he’s told you he goes to AA? He can’t have alcohol. So just water but in the glass, you would use for a vodka and maybe a straw?” 

You blink and take in what she just said, was this some sort of prank show? You didn’t think so, she’s here to what? Make sure you’re aware Adam is hers? To make you jealous of her? Seemed like a Hannah thing to do in your opinion. 

“Okay. So you want a glass of water then, there's no fancy glasses for a vodka soda. Just a glass.”

“Well can you just find one?” She insisted. Causing you to roll your eyes as you go to make the drinks, finding a glass you think she’d approve of and filling it with tap water and adding a tiny red straw just for the effect. 

“Just so you know I’m charging you for the vodka.” You tell her as you push the two drinks forward. Her eyes narrowed at you, but you held your ground when she looked like she wanted to argue, she paid with a look of irritation that made your heart sing. The idea of her being inconvenienced a fraction of the amount she irritated you was bliss. 

“Thanks,” she said in a completely unbelievable way and turned away. But then she stopped turning her head back to you, “When Adam gets here, will you point him in my direction?” 

“Sure,” you mouth hurt from the smile you had been forcing the entire interaction.

She offered you a smile that was just as fake before wandering off somewhere else in the bar. 

“That’s Hannah?” Holly asked, folding her hands across her chest and leaning against the bar. Holly was the closest thing you had to a friend, shifts with her were great you generally got on really well. Occasionally meeting up outside of work to spend time together. 

“That’s Hannah.” 

Holly nodded once and then turned to get back to work. She’d listened to your complaints about Hannah, not that you liked to spare much of your energy on her. But you were still guilty of the occasional complaint. 

Holly had listened and then given you the biggest what the fuck look when you told her about your budding friendship with Adam. You were very much aware of the way people would view the situation. You becoming friends with a taken man, a man taken by someone you didn't exactly get along with. What’s worse is you couldn’t even deny that a small part of you wanted him to leave Hannah, you wanted to be the one he came home each night. However the bigger part of you refused to be the girl who broke her own heart pining after a man she can’t have. You might have developed a small crush on Adam, and he might just be the nicest most attractive man you’ve interacted with in a long time, but it was nothing serious. Besides he was your friend, that was all you needed from him. 

“You weren’t exaggerating at all were you?” She asks with a chuckle. 

“Nope.” you pop the p. 

Adam came in not much later, interrupting you and Holly who had been dancing along to whatever song had come on to the bar's playlist. 

You grin as you see him walk through the door, he looks better than he had when he left the cafe that morning. He looked like sin actually. Walking sin. With that peacock coat and white sweater that made him look so sophisticated and irresistible. 

“Hey hotshot.” you grin bouncing over to him, still moving along to the song playing. He grinned when he saw you, even joining in with your dance as he made his way over to the bar. 

“Hey,” he says greeted. Good, he was in a better mood. 

He looked at the barstool next to the bar but didn’t sit. You could tell he wanted to. 

It occurred to you then that Hannah had chosen a bar of all places to meet Adam. A fucking _bar_

He’d told you he didn’t really care about being around alcohol. But it still seemed insensitive, especially when you considered he wasn’t in the best of fettles today. 

While he still seemed to be feeling happier, there was an aura of uncomfortableness about him. He seemed tense and his usual happy persona was nowhere to be seen. He looked around the bar and then took the barstool and rested against it. 

“She’s over there somewhere, I stopped paying attention to her after she ordered. Told me to send you her way.” You pause remembering her get up. “Be warned, she’s up to something.” 

“I know. Pray for me?” He replied with a small smile that made your heart skip a beat.

“Every night, but we both know you’re going to hell.”

“That’s not very nice.” There it was. His smile. You liked that smile far too much. 

“Don’t even try to argue with me. You know I’m telling the truth.”  
He hums again, taking a straw from the pot and fidgeting with it. “I should go find her right?” he asks, the smile was gone and once again he was avoiding looking at you. 

“Probably. Or you could stay here and keep me company all night.” You know it’s rhetorical, there’s no way he could, as much as you wanted him too. He looked at you than with a raised eyebrow. 

“I know. Go.” You shoo him off with your hands, encouraging him to go find his girlfriend. He shook his head as he turned and wandered into the bar, his hands stuffed in the jacket of his coat. 

“And that’s Adam?” Holly asks, sliding up next to you. You nod once still watching him wind his way across the room, you couldn’t help but admire the way his shoulders filled out that coat, or how fluffy his hair looked you wanted to run your hands through. 

“He’s pretty hot,” she whispers to you and you turn around and slap her arm playfully with a gasp. 

“Stop it.”

“Oh shut up you know I’m right, you’ve just spent five minutes checking him out.” 

She wasn’t wrong. 

“He has a girlfriend Holl,” you say, smiling even so. You’d spent the entire interaction appreciating his appearance, but it felt weird hearing someone else comment on it.

“And that means we can’t say he’s fine as fuck? What I wouldn’t do to run my fingers through his hair while-”

You turn the music up and start singing along. “What was that? I can’t hear you.” She just shakes her head at you and smiles, turning around to serve the next customer on the other side of the bar. 

“ARE YOU ON CRACK!” Hannah shouts and runs past the bar smiling all the way. She pauses at the door to shout back to who you assume is Adam. “I’m a married older woman. I have a kid your age.” 

Then without warning, she slams the door behind her as she leaves.

“Fuck.” Adam curses as he follows, wiping his face. He stopped to find your eyes and offered a shrug and an eye roll before following her out. 

“What the hell was that?” Holly asks, appearing next to you, the rest of the bar had also paused to watch the performance? Did it even classify as such? 

“That is some sort of bullshit I will never understand.” You reply unable to control the discomfort and cringe in your tone. 

“Yuck. You think it’s aa coincident that out of all the bars in New York she chose the one you work at for her blatant sex game?” Holly asks, she’d at some point started playing with a tiny cocktail umbrella, you weren’t even aware the place was fancy enough to have shit like that. 

“No, it definitely was not.” 

===

> Are you home? 

You read the text three times trying to take in the words, you’d almost not even picked your phone up, you were so tired. It had been a quiet night at the bar, at least after Hannah’s bullshit was over. I had just a bunch of regulars so your boss had let you and Holly toss a coin to see who could go home early. Thankfully you had won. 

It wasn’t even just the fact you’d been up since 5 am and on your feet all day that had you tired, you’d spent the entire walk home thinking about the fact Hannah was probably at home getting absolutely fucked into next week by Adam. 

It wasn’t even that it had been a while since you’d gotten laid or that you were jealous. It just didn’t make sense. Hannah didn’t seem to really have anything in common with Adam and she was a self-centred bitch, and Adam was not. He was so kind and considerate and just a nice guy. You wouldn’t lie, he was _a lot_ but you felt alive when you were with him. So no, you couldn’t understand why Adam was so into her. 

The fact that Adam was texting you now when you are almost positive he should be balls deep in his precious girlfriend, was surprising to say the least. 

< Yea why??

You respond briefly. The light from your screen hurts your eyes but you watched and waited for a response. 

None came. Instead, you heard the faint jingle of keys in the lock and your door opening. Then came the steady sound of footsteps making their way towards your room. Axel’s head popped up at the bottom of the bed silently taking note of the intruder, who you assumed to be Adam since no one else had a key, besides his text gave away his intent to come over. When Axel’s tail began to thump against the bed you knew it was him, your dog fucking liked Adam more than you at this point. The traitor. 

The bed dipped beside you and the blanket was pulled from where you had it tucked around yourself as Adam settled into the bed. You were so confused. So many questions going through your mind you didn’t know where to begin. So you kept it simple. 

“Adam?”

“Yeah?” He hummed as he shuffled around beside you, trying to get comfortable. 

“Why are you in my bed right now?”

“I don’t know. It’s what Hannah and her best friends do when they’re feeling sorry for themselves.” You turned over to face him, he was lying looking up at the ceiling, his hands clasped on his chest. He turned his head to face you “And also I didn’t know where else to go that felt safe.” 

You were his best friend? He felt safe with you? Your heart sawed, you’d not really classed anyone as a best friend since you finished school. Emma had been your closest friend since you were a kid but your friendship has fallen apart when you moved to New York, with awkward timing and expensive plane tickets you’d just stopped talking as frequently, besides she had ended up going to her dream university and making new friends she’d moved on from you. But that was alright, you had Adam now. He was your best friend. 

You were each other's safe space. 

"You wanna tell me about it?" You ask as you shuffle forward slightly so you were only a few inches away from him. It seemed far too intimate, but if there was one thing you'd learnt about Adam, it was that he enjoyed physicality and being close to someone. He seemed to appreciate it. 

"Fucking Hannah. She's driving me crazy." 

You hummed in agreement 

"She puts on this weird sex act which don't get me fucking wrong is hot, real hot. But she has to go and make it weird and some creepy sex thing and then blame me for it, that’s all I seem to be to her some weird dickhead she can write about in her stupid fucking essays." 

Your hand snaked forward to run over his arm, in an effort to sooth him but Adam seemed to have other ideas. He took your hand between his large ones, which were still in the middle of his chest and began to fidget with your fingers and rub his thumb over your palm. His focus was completely on your hands. Seemingly grounding him. 

“Made me feel bad for wanting to be sweet and gentle and not fucking her like some two-bit whore. I just don’t know what she wants from me. It changes every fucking day and it’s always my fucking fault apparently.”

“Hmmm,” you’re not entirely sure what to say to him, you’re not sure what he wants you to say if he wants you to say anything or just listen to him as he talks himself through his thoughts. 

“I’m going to stay with Ray for the next few weeks. I can’t be around her when she doesn’t understand I’ve grown. That me caring about my fucking job isn’t a problem or unrealistic”

He sounds so raw and broken. So hurt. 

“Adam.” your voice comes out weakly, your hand breaks away from his hands moving to cup the side of his cheek forcing him to look at you. “I’m so proud of you. You’re allowed to want to succeed and take your job seriously. You’re allowed to be frustrated with her. I know for a fact that when you go onto that stage on opening night you’re going to blow every fucker away.” 

“Will you come?” He asks, suddenly stopping you from continuing. “I haven’t asked you to come yet. Will you come?”

“Of course I’ll come.” you say with a nod and a soft smile which he returns. 

“Good.” he shifts in the bed moving to get more comfortable under the covers, you shift as well and somehow end up with your head pressed against his chest. His hand around your back loosely holding you close, the other once again playing with your hand that is resting over his heart. 

“You could stay here if you wanted to, you know,” you suggest knowing it's a crazy idea. That realistically him staying with you would not be the best move for either of you. 

You doubted Hannah would be impressed with the idea. Not when her entire act tonight was a blatant attempt to make sure you were aware that he was hers. With that ensemble she’d put together; the cheap blonde wig that clearly didn’t compliment her and the disgruntled and down right bitchy attitude she had whilst confronting you clearly meant that she thought you were a threat. 

On top of that, spending that much time with Adam felt way too appealing, it didn’t sit right with you.

“You’d let me?”

You nod against his chest and his arm tightens around your back. 

You feel him sigh beneath you. “Nah, I should stay at Ray’s. Closer to the theatre. Plus he has a spare bed.”

“Hey!” you smack he chest in mock outrage, “You’re the one that let yourself into my bed. Just so you know you’re lucky tonight. I usually sleep naked.”

“Hmm I normally do too, maybe we should go about our routines as normal dollface,” he says with a smirk, his eyes closed.

“Think again Hotshot.” You close your own eyes feeling as though you’ve managed to lift his mood and made him feel better. 

“Y/N?” You hear him say, and you look at him in surprise. He had used your name, not dollface. Your name. It’s the first time he’s ever said it and you can’t help but love the way it sounds on his lips. Makes you want him to never call you by that nickname ever again. Even if it had grown on you.

“Yeah?”

“...Thank you,” he says quietly and you smile at him as you lay your head on his chest and nod into it, already falling sleep on you. 

“No problem hotshot,” and with that, you fall into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We just wanna say thank you all so much for the amazing and positive feedback to this fic! It really means so much to us, we love y'all.

You felt like you were being suffocated. You couldn’t move, completely and utterly trapped. When you’d woken up, initially the hot breath fanning your neck and the solid mass against your back had you panicking. But then last night's events came back to you. 

Falling asleep in Adam’s arms felt surreal, not to be cliche but you’d slept better than you had in years. You’d never really slept with someone like this, yes there you’d topped and tailed at sleepovers and slept in the same bed as someone. Being held by someone, being wrapped up with someone else while you slept. It was different, it felt far more intimate and personal. It was nice and warm and cosy, especially since Axel, as usual, had crept into bed with you and was curled up against your stomach under the blanket. You swear that dog had a codependent relationship with being under the blanket. You felt secure, safe. Sandwiched between your two favourite beings.

You were content to stay wrapped up in Adam's arms as long as you could. Let yourself pretend that this was what you did every day. That this was just your life, and what a life it would be. 

Waking up next to Adam each morning, sleepy kisses that get way too heated and end up going somewhere you dare not think about when he's right next to you. Then making breakfast together and talking about your plans for the day. On days you worked the opening shift you'd let him sleep, slip out of bed and get ready, making sure to kiss his forehead and tuck him in, maybe even leave him a nice note telling him to come see you and get some breakfast before leaving. 

The domestic life you'd always been too scared to picture, because you didn't want to get your hopes up and be let down when you couldn't have it. But at that moment it felt real, like you could take it if you wanted. 

Yet, you couldn't. It would always be just out of reach wouldn't it, at least with the person you wanted it to be with. You let out a deep sigh and look over to the shitty alarm clock you'd gotten because it let you set more than one alarm and it was less than $10. You'd quickly labelled it your worst enemy with its insistent beeping and faulty snooze button. As in what snooze button? The little box went on and on and on until you got out of bed and turned it off yourself. It wouldn't be going off today though. You had the entire day to yourself, you were completely free of all responsibility and it felt amazing. 

7:45 am the clock read. 

You’d slept in longer than your body clock normally allowed. All the early shifts and completely wrecked sleeping pattern normally had you waking up at 6:30 latest. You didn't even feel tired enough to go back to sleep, you were just content to lie there, with Adam's arm wrapped around your waist holding you. But of course, your body had other ideas for your morning. 

You let out a groan as you disentangle from the sheets and limbs trying to pin you down, a feat that is far harder than you could ever predict. Adam kept reaching out for you pulling you back. "No stay." He mumbled, still clearly mostly asleep. 

"Adam I need to pee." You were sure that he'd snap out of his clinginess when he realised it was you he was imprisoning against his solid chest and not Hannah but no. He held you closer, his head and buried it further into the back of your neck. 

"Just pee the bed. Stayy" he was waking up at this point. "I did." He let out the cutest sleepy giggle that made your breath catch. 

"You better not have." You say teasingly. There's no way he'd pissed the bed, at least you didn't think so. But then again would it be so bad? Was it worth it to spend longer in this bubble of bliss? What a gross thought. 

You were careful as you wrestled out of his grip, which was a lot harder than you'd ever expect. When you finally made it to the edge of the bed you turned back to see Adam still sleeping, or at least his eyes were still closed. Axel happily took your exit as his invitation moved across the bed to Adam's now empty arms. 

You'd be offended that you were so easily replaced if they didn't look so cute. Your boys. 

You stretched as you stood and made your way to the bathroom to relieve your bladder, the little traitor. Making you get out of bed. And it wasn’t exactly like you could get back into bed now. That seemed weird. You suspected Adam wouldn’t give a fuck about societies norms and wouldn’t question you climbing back into bed. You couldn’t live with it, especially when you knew you wouldn’t sleep again. It would just be to be close to him. 

Deciding a shower was the best way to go, a cold one at that. You quickly grabbed a change of clothes and a towel and set about with your morning routine. 

===

“Hello?” Adam’s voice was gruff and hoarse, drawing your attention from your skincare. Over the years you’d accumulated a strict routine you took quite seriously. It wasn’t exactly an extensive or complicated one but you enjoyed taking the time to just relax and be good to yourself. 

Adam’s voice was clearly still groggy from just waking up, it was weird to hear him like that, his voice was so raw. It was nice, you liked it like that. 

“Hey dollface, your sister’s face is on your phone! She wants to speak to you.” Adam called out to you. You heard him stumbling out of bed. At first you’re unsure what the hell he meant, but then you remembered what day it was. Grandma Ruth’s birthday. Your sister was video calling you. She was speaking to Adam. 

You’re heart stopped. 

_FUCK_

This wasn’t happening. You were still dreaming. The moisturizer tub in your hands fell to the floor as you scrambled to do something, to stop your sister saying anything to Adam that would give away what you’d done. 

Fuck Fuck Fuck. 

“Give it here!” you snap far too harshly, cringing at the look the way Adam's brows furrow. Hurt by the way you're speaking to him. "Please?" 

He hands the phone over to you before brushing past you. "I'm going in the shower."

"I might have used up all the hot water I'm sorry." 

"Oh, you'll be sorry doll." He calls back before closing the bathroom door. 

You turn your focus back onto your sister. Every time you saw her you were shocked by how much she had aged and grown up. She’d be applying to university this year. You hoped she didn’t make the mistake you did and didn’t move to another country. 

"Hey." You smile into the phone. You moved as far away from the bathroom as you could in case Adam overheard anything your sister said. You decided that you might as well let Axel out. The dog was still lounging in bed as if he owned the thing so you made your way to the fire escape window that luckily led down to a large outdoor space you shared with the Chinese restaurant behind it. After tapping on the window Axel jumped up and made his way over pausing for a quick pet nose bop. 

"That’s Adam?” Izzy asks, almost squeals. “I told them all you were telling the truth!” You watched Axel as he ran down the metal stairs to chase a pigeon away. Contemplating your options here.

You _should_ end this here. A smart person would come clean, stop this completely before it goes too far. But who was it hurting really? Your family wouldn’t be on your case as much and Adam still didn’t know. Yes the lie had almost been blown right open this morning but you could be more careful. You would be more careful.

“That’s Adam.”

“He’s cute.”

“He’s definitely something alright.”

“Gran! Y/N’s on the phone come say hi!” Izzy moves across the room. You recognise your grandma's living room. It hadn’t changed in years, not since she’d moved in when you were a child. She was sitting at her dining room table, surrounded by flowers. 

“Happy birthday gran!” You said once Izzy had sat down next to her and positioned the camera right. Your grandma looked good for her age, not that she was super old; she'd had your mum when she was quite young, younger than you in fact. 

“Pumpkin!” she greeted using your childhood nickname. “How are you!” 

“Never mind me how are you! How’s being 70?”

“The same as 69.” she laughed, and by god you were glad Adam wasn’t here to make some sort of comment on that. “Thank you for the flowers! And the books! They’ll keep me entertained for a while!” 

You’d ordered both flowers and a large selection of mystery thriller books to be delivered that morning. A nice bouquet of yellow and orange flowers since they were her favourites, with a small pumpkin shaped card so she’d know it was from you. You’d always gotten her books for her birthday, she was a mystery thriller fiend. She loved them. You vividly remembered her reading you the Agatha Christie books when you were little. 

The three of you started chatting, apparently your auntie had organised a tea party for your gran's birthday and Izzy was going to be doing her hair and makeup extra fancy to celebrate. As you talk you move to the small table that doubles as your workspace, eating space and where you got ready.

You started to apply your makeup as you talked, you managed to throw off any questions you didn't want to answer, mostly about Adam and when you were coming home to visit properly. 

You were about to put on a nice nude coloured lipstick on - you'd bought it on a whim one afternoon and you loved it, it matched your skintone perfectly.- when Adam caught your attention in the corner of your phone screen. 

  
  


“Hey Doll you wanna get bagels for breakfast?” he calls, top half hanging around the bathroom door frame, toothbrush in hand, his soaking wet hair dripping onto his shirtless chest. 

You came to the conclusion then and there, that this man must always be covered in your presence. It was too much. 

“Is that my fucking toothbrush?” You ask, noticing the pink toothbrush as he brought it back up to his mouth. 

“What? You want me to use my fingers?” your mouth goes dry at the cockiness. The audacity. 

“That's my toothbrush! Do you know how much bacteria is on that? It's been in my mouth!"

“I should hope that’s where you're sticking it.” he says with a boyish grin that has you tilting your head in warning. 

“Adam I swear…”

“Tell Adam to come say happy birthday!” Izzy calls. Adam's wit had distracted you completely. 

“Who’s Adam?” Your gran asks, luckily for you Izzy doesn't have time to answer before Adam appears behind you, caging you against the table. He leant forward so that his chin rested just above your shoulder. 

"Happy birthday grandma." Adam says "Wait where is your grandma I only see your sisters."

"Oh I like this one. Pumpkin keep this one." 

"Pumpkin?" Adam mumbles in your ear. The tone is low and vibrates throughout your entire body finally settling in your stomach. He pinches your side in a way that tickles, causing you to let out a yelp. 

“Oh she hasn’t got a choice, she can’t shake me now,” Adam tells your grandma. It was almost terrible how quickly Adam and your gran became best friends. Thankfully they both seemed content with the fact that Adam was a real human to pry too much into the details of your “relationship”. 

“I hate to cut this short but if you want to get breakfast before rehearsal we should get going.” You interrupted Adam who was talking away about something that you didn’t understand. 

You were keenly aware that you were still only wearing your kimono wrap and both you and Adam needed to get dressed. He nodded at you and looked back at the phone with a pout. “Sorry grandma but _pumpkin_ here says we have to go, so we’ll see you later. Happy birthday!” She waves bye to the both of you and Adam clicks the end button on the call, effectively leaving the apartment in silence. You let out a silent sigh of relief and look at Adam. 

“So, bagels?”

===

Adam toed off his boots and let the door shut behind him, letting out a deep sigh he took in the apartment in front of him. It felt strange being here, in what was once his messy but practical home. Ray had decorated and cleaned up nicely, not to Adam’s taste that was for sure. But that didn’t matter; he didn’t live there anymore. Truthfully he didn’t feel like he lived anywhere anymore. 

Even Hannah’s place wasn’t home, yes he existed there. He slept there, ate there and showered there. But it wasn’t home. The only thing that was truly his in the apartment was his own clothing he’d brought with him and his bike, but that didn’t exactly count. When Hannah has suggested he move in with her he’d not cared about all his stuff that he assumed Ray had sold or just thrown away. He had just been ecstatic that Hannah wanted him back, that they were serious this time. But now he hated it. Nothing about her shitty little apartment felt like his. Everything was hers, her bed, her couch, her decorations. He didn’t connect to any of it. 

The only place he truly felt at home these days was on the stage when he was pretending to be someone else. When he was someone else he could forget all the drama in his life, he could forget Hannah and her bullshit, forget everything about himself and just be someone else for a while. 

He’d gotten into acting for exactly that, to forget his worries, to replace the alcohol. Yes fucking helped, being balls deep in someone, body electrified by pleasure was a good distraction but there was something about the high you got when you let yourself in a script, in the feelings of someone else. 

It was nothing else he’d ever experienced. Well other than being with Y/N. He felt invincible when he was with her, there was something about her that got his blood pumping. Not even in a sexual way. 

The way she lifted him up and made him worth a damn for no reason other than she wanted to. She had no obligation to listen to him yet she did. She gave him a different kind of feeling. There were no complications when he was with her, she didn’t expect anything from him other than to be her friend and it was nice. 

He didn’t need to look after her, he didn’t need to make sure she ate, or took her meds or any of that other stuff he’d done for Hannah. He didn’t mind doing it but sometimes it felt too much like parenting, she didn’t make any effort to do them for herself, or even try to do them for herself. 

He dropped onto Ray’s fancy new couch, it was leather and brown and looked all sophisticated and shit. He let a hand drag across his face as he groaned. Frustration consuming him as he racked his brain trying to figure out when his life had gone to shit. 

When Hannah had called him that night, when she broke down, part of him had been relieved that she was finally letting him back in. That he had her back in his life properly. Things had been great, he’d been happy. Then he’d gotten the part in seemingly up and coming play, and things had felt right. Then _you_ had come along and everything had gone wrong. 

Ever since that perfect little smile of yours had come into his life, everything had changed.

Suddenly he and Hannah couldn't agree on where the sun was up or down. Being in the same room twisted his stomach and every noise she  made him wanna tear his hair out with aggravation.  Every little thing she did drove him crazy. 

Suddenly he wanted to do better, be better. He didn’t want to be the guy that walked out on jobs because he wasn’t feeling it, or because something more interesting came along. He wanted to apply himself and try. It was fucking awful. 

He should hate you, should curse your name and never speak to you again. 

But instead he loved it. Loved seeing you nearly every day, loved being able to be there for you, loved that you were independent and didn’t have to rely on him for everyday shit like Hannah did. 

Loved that you didn’t need anybody else, and that you chose him to come into your life. Because you wanted him there.  Because you wanted to share your life with him for no reason other than you liked him. 

You hadn’t just let him into your life either, you’d actively changed your life to welcome him. He didn’t miss the way you suddenly always had milk in the fridge, the way you one day had his favourite cereal brand set next to your honey cheerios. You made space for him. 

_Fuck_

Hannah hadn’t even cleared a drawer for him until he asked her, everything she gave him seemed like a hassle to her, an inconvenience. But she took, boy she took. It was always what she wanted. Her friends, her tv shows, her music. Everything. Who could even invest that much energy into 13 fucking seasons of Grey’s Anatomy anyway? 

His mind kept circling to this morning. To how simple life had felt when he’d woken up. How comfy your bed had been, how nice you had felt against him. You weren’t the only woman he’d woken up next too. But there had just been something so calming about your presence in particular. The way your hand had rested against his, holding it closer against you. 

He’d woken up long before you had and just savoured it. He’d never felt safer, more relaxed, like he belonged. Listening to your breathing. It was unreal. Not even in a sexual way. Normally when he woke up like this with a hot as fuck woman next to him like this he’d be hard by principle. Ready to go for round 2 or 3 or whatever. 

But this felt so different. He’d realised that morning that maybe he liked you a little bit more than he should. Enjoyed your laugh more than he should. Looked forward to your smile more than he should. Fuck he liked you far too much that it wasn’t fair. Not on him, not on you and not on Hannah. 

_Fuck_

It finally dawned on him as he slumped further into Ray’s sofa. He needed to break up with Hannah. They didn’t work. Not any more. Had they ever? He couldn’t remember them ever being good for each other, or at least her being good for him. 

He had to do it, he had no choice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go give us feedback on our work!  
> [commanderbensolo](https://commanderbensolo.tumblr.com)  
> [thomasscresswell](https://thomasscresswell.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh thank you for 100 kudos! It means so much. 
> 
> This Chapter is dedicated to Hannah, never has my hatred for someone and their treatment of others inspired me to create something. (That's a lie, Spite and pettiness fuel me.) - Thomascresswell

“I don’t know, you don’t think this a little much?” You ask looking over your shoulder at Holly who had taken to scrolling through your phone. She looks up taking in your outfit, a body con dress that stopped mid-thigh and had a slight slit that wasn’t scandalous but you definitely couldn’t wear it to a family party. 

“You look hot.” She nods and brings her phone up to take a photo of you in the dress as if that would help convince you. She wasn’t wrong, the dress was nice. You just weren’t sure it was the look you were going for. Adam had dropped off your ticket earlier that morning, causing you to freak out when you realised you didn’t exactly have anything to wear, you didn’t exactly know what to wear for an opening night play. It wasn’t your usual scene. 

You’d even texted Adam, asking him what vibe you should aim for. Your mistake was expecting him to be helpful.

> Clothes?

> Or not, I’m not picky ;)

< Adam. 

> Whatever you want Doll. 

You’d dropped your phone onto your bed then and screamed. No help what so ever. 

In the end. you had texted Holly asking if she could help you. She just seemed happy to have an excuse to skip class. The two of you had been out most of the morning looking for something. At this point, you’d tried on cocktail dresses, floor-length dresses and a weirdly shaped pants suit. Everything seemed too dressy or too casual and you just didn’t know what to do. 

“It looks to datey doesn’t it? Looks too much like I’m trying to get some…” you sigh and move to slump down on the fancy sofa next to her. 

“Are you? Trying to get some?” Holly asks with a raised eyebrow and a pointed look. 

“No.”

“You sure? I’ve seen the way you look at Adam, and here you are freaking out about what to wear for an event he’s inviting you to. You know that batshit girlfriend of his won’t give a shit how she looks."

Holly had a point. You doubted Hannah would be giving a single thought to what to wear tonight. You wouldn’t be surprised if she turned up in one of those short and shirt combos that made her look like she was in pyjamas. And here you were wanting to look pretty for Adam. Well not _for_ Adam. (Well maybe a little…) but you wanted to look respectable. Like you cared enough to try for him.

But this dress wasn’t it, it screamed “I’m here to seduce you sir. Let me be your babygirl.” Something you were sure Sackler would be into. The filthy fucker he was. But it wasn’t the look you wanted to go with, especially when he was still with Hannah. 

“You are absolutely correct she won’t be. But I’m still getting something nice to wear.” You stand again making your way back to the changing cubicle pausing to turn back to Holly. “Just maybe something a little bit less than this.” you gesture to the dress before going and changing back into your normal clothes. 

The rest of the morning had gone much the same until you found a nice off the shoulder maxi wrap dress, there was a slit in this dress as well, but unlike the one from earlier the longer looser skirt gave it a more modest and sweetheart look. But you’d fallen in love with the floral print, it was white with random bursts of flowers dotted around. One large collection of roses and other flowers over the left side of your troso. It looked nice, and it was on sale so you just couldn’t say no. 

You and Holly had ended up deciding to go for lunch. 

So you’d crowded into a booth at some cute little cafe and were sharing a muffin when your phone bleeped indicating you had an email, you were content just to ignore it and continue your chat with Holly. She was in the middle of explaining her plans for redecorating her bedroom, passionately discussing colour theory and different textures in a way you couldn’t begin to understand. 

However, the email was from an airline provider, Virgin Atlantic to be exact and curiosity got the best of you. Opening the email you saw your sister had forwarded it to you. With the message. 

> CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AND ADAM. Oh you can thank Gran by the way! She got them for you weeks ago cos she knew you'd forget. She also says no take backs you have to use them. 

Your brows furrowed as you opened the attached PDF. Your fingers shaking as you did. 

Two boarding passes. In your name. 

To go home. For your cousin’s wedding. 

With Adam. 

_F U C K_

“You okay there hun?” Holly asks with a slight giggle talking in the symptoms of shock that must have taken over your face. If Holly was one to use cliches she’d probably say you looked like you’d seen a ghost, or something equally as cringy. But instead, she prodded your shoulder in an attempt to bring you back to the real world. 

“Holly. I fucked up.” you sigh and let the phone drop to the table, your glass of rum and coke quickly taking its place as you knock it back. Needing the false courage alcohol gave in order to begin to make sense of this, to even figure something out to fix this fucking mess. 

Fuck. 

“You didn’t text that sleazy fucker who smells of cherry lube constantly did you? I saw him slide you his number last night.” She was joking, you knew she didn’t think you’d ever fuck up that bad. But at least if you had texted Cherry Lube Luke - the nickname you’d both given him.- you could block him or tell him to fuck off but no. You had actually fucked up here. 

“I might have let my family think Adam was my boyfriend.” 

Saying the words felt freeing? Wrong? Worse? It was a mixture of things. Lifting the weight from your shoulders and letting someone else in on it was a relief but at the same time, the guilt paralysed you. 

It was a disgusting weird and downright fucking stupid thing to do, and now you weren’t the only one that knew you had done it. 

You expected her to tell you off, or be stunned to silence. You didn’t expect the loud cackling laugh that erupted from her.

“It’s not fucking funny.” you all but snap at her, but you can’t help but evolve into a fit of giggles with her. Because the situation is ridiculous. If it was anyone else you’d laugh as well. 

“Why?” she says after finally righting herself. 

You shrug because at this point you can’t remember what had spurred you on in that moment, to tell your mother you had a boyfriend. And you didn’t exactly want to tell Holly you had a habit of this, what if you needed to fall for your little white lies? Besides, it didn’t matter why. Not anymore. You were here now. With two fucking plane tickets and a family that expected Adam to be your date to a wedding you didn’t want to go to. 

“Do you want him to be?” Holly asks more seriousness in her tone, letting all the joking and fun go.  
You shrug again. “Maybe? Like I like him you know? And in a world where he wasn’t dating Hannah then sure. But.”

“But nothing! I’ve seen you together, right? And your not the only one that looks like the other like they fucking hang the sun in the sky each morning. Seriously he lights up around you and I've only met him twice. If you really wanted him to be yours, you could have him.” Holly says with a smile you didn’t trust. You knew Adam seemed to be happier around you but that didn’t mean he liked you. He was just like that. It didn’t mean he liked you romantically. In fact, he’d made it very clear you were a friend to him. Very clear. 

“Does he know?” Holly changes the subject, well returns to the actual issue and you couldn’t be happier. Thinking Adam might actually see you as more than a friend was dangerous, definitely not good for the part of your head that craved him. 

“Nope.” You pop the p as if it added effect. 

“Has your family figured it out?” 

“No.”

“Then the problem is?” Holly prompts

“They want me to bring him home with me for Olivia’s wedding.” 

“Oh.”

“Yup.” again with that popped p. 

“Fuck.”

Fuck indeed. 

"Then ask him to go with you." Holly shrugs and takes a drink from her straw. Her dark purple lipstick had already rubbed off all along the paper straw. She was so casual about this as if you were just asking him to come with you to buy some pet food.

You look at her incredulously, as if she had said go climb up the Empire state building, which was probably more feasible than getting Adam to go with you. “Holly, how the fuck do I ask that? The guy is in a relationship , a relationship with a cunt I might add, but still a relationship.” 

"Or say he doesn't have a passport and get on with life. I think you're making a big deal out of this when you don't have too." 

"It would break my grans heart! And do you know how much of her pension she'll have forked out for these tickets? I have to go."

"You could take me! Ohhh maybe I'll find a nice rich British boy. Or a prince!" 

Fucking Americans. 

"It doesn't work like that. Where the hell do you think I'm from anyway?" 

“England, where all the princes are,” you shake your head at her and sighed exasperatedly.. 

No, you had to take Adam. You had to, right? You'd feel so bad if you didn't after she’d bought your tickets. She was clearly so excited to see you, and had clearly predicted your excuse of not being able to afford plane fare to come to the wedding. Curse the woman for knowing you so well. Maybe Holly was right, if Adam didn’t have a passport he couldn’t come. The wedding was next month and that was nowhere near enough time to get one. 

“You know he’d agree to do it.” Holly pauses to take a chunk from the muffin wrapper. “Like if he’s down to take part in his girlfriends weird public sex thing then he can hold your hand in front of your shitty family. Or if not he’s an idiot for not taking a free vacation for literally doing nothing.”

You hadn’t told Holly how that night had turned out for Adam, how he’d ended up coming to you afterwards. He’d told you more as well the morning after, he’d told you some dude had punched him after Hannah had made it seem like Adam was harassing her. You’d were ready to go fucking call her out and maybe even give her a bruise that matched the one forming on Adam’s cheek. Hell Adam had had to physically stop you by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulled down next to him, practically onto his knee. 

“You’re right he would do it.” 

And that was the problem Adam would agree to it, he’d probably love it. He was a fucking actor, this would litterally be like a live proformance, or method acting for a week straight. But you had no idea how he would react to knowing you did this. 

You could see it going one of two ways. Adam laughing it off, calls you crazy and then agrees to go. Or call you fucking crazy and say this was a plan to break him up with Hannah by manipulating him. Then he’d never be your friend again and you would hate yourself and never ever forgive yourself for it. You'd lose him, and you couldn't bear to see the disappointment on your Grandma's face, your sister's face. 

Fuck. 

"I'll ask him if he has a passport, that's a good start right?" You ask taking your phone and opening up your messaging app. 

“If he says no, you’ve got no choice but to let me come and play wingwoman for me when I try and bag myself a Mr Darcy.”

“Holly you’ve never even seen Pride and Prejudice or read the books.” You huff as you type the message. You very much doubted you’d get a response, since Adam was likely run ragged preparing for the play to open tonight. But if you didn’t send it now you’d chicken out. 

> Hypothetically. Do you have a passport? 

=== 

You found Adam that night pacing, the door to his dressing room wide open. You felt a bit out of place backstage, it had felt silly wanting to come see him before the show. But you’d done it anyway, making your way to the cast’s rooms with a large flower arrangement in your arms. 

But seeing him burning holes in the carpet as he made his way back and forth across the small room made you glad you had. 

“Hey hotshot.” you smiled as you stepped into the room. “I got you flowers, that’s what people do right? On opening night?” 

He stopped pacing and turned to you, finally giving you a chance to study him. There was something more to this than nerves, he looked frenzied, nervous. A wreck. You quickly knew what you needed to do, what Adam needed from you. You shoved the flowers onto the nearest surface and stepped closer to him allowing him to pull you into a crushing hug. His arms too tight around you. 

You wanted to ask him what was wrong, to get him to tell you so you could help. But Adam needed to be the one to start that conversation, especially when he was this worked up. So you let him use you, let him cling to you and take what he needed. 

“Your hair smells like coconut.” He eventually said taking a step back. 

“I know. You like coconut.” 

No, you hadn’t bought coconut scented shampoo because he said he liked it. Though he had come to mind when you added it to the shopping basket.

Adam stepped back from you, but his large hands remained on your shoulders as he looked you up and down. 

“You look real cute doll.” 

You gave him a little twirl showing off your new dress. You’d put a bit of effort in tonight, your hair was curled and styled in a way that framed your face perfectly. 

“I do try.” You said with a smile that felt like it might take up your entire face. 

“Well, you certainly try well,” Adam said with a smile, and you feel yourself trying not to blush at the compliment. God, what were you? Some girl still in high school whose crush had called her cute? You were a grown woman for fucks sake. 

“Thank you, how you feeling?” You ask him, unsure of what else to say. Break a leg maybe? Did they still say that? 

“Bit nervous, but that’s normal. I just have to get in the right headspace,” he says, and you nod, understanding. Being in the right headspace with anything helped a lot, and you imagined it was the same with acting as well. Being able to dive deep into a character or a role was difficult sometimes, so being in the right headspace probably helped that process along. 

You couldn’t help but remember what he had said all those weeks ago, about how he got overwhelmed by emotions sometimes and that losing himself in a role was a good way to just let them all out, or there was another option that he used. 

Fucking someone into the mattress. 

The thought made you press your thighs together even after he had said it weeks ago. It still had an effect on you, an effect that you couldn’t quite pin down, one that was wild and untameable and maybe even a little intimidating when you didn’t know what it was. 

Huh, just like him then a little. 

“Should I go get Hannah?” You suggested, thinking maybe that was what he needed and you were quite surprised when he shook his head almost immediately, practically vibrating with the force of it. You cocked an eyebrow, looking at him, waiting for an explanation. 

“Don’t you fucking dare!” he quickly snapped in a tone that shocked you. Adam had never, ever spoken to you like that. It startled you. But there was something about the roughness in his voice, the way he managed to sound so deep and aggressive but still with a warmth to it. It went straight to your stomach. Sitting there and adding to that budding sensation, you cursed yourself. Your body’s reaction to him was not appropriate; he was clearly hurting. 

“Me and Hannah… we’re kinda not… working out, at the minute, I’d rather be as far away from her as much as possible, the woman is driving me fucking nuts,” he says quickly and in an exasperated way, as if even the thought of her annoyed him. You were taken aback by how he spoke of her, but a small part of you, the one deep inside which you kept locked away, reveled in it. 

“Okay, not calling Hannah, I’m sorry,” you say, the words coming out softer than you realised, seeming to instantly calm him. You step onto the chair beside you, so you tower over him. He looks up at you eyes full of wonder, full of question. You offer a wink and open your arms to him, inviting him to be held. He seemed almost relieved at the thought of stepping into your embrace, his head resting against your chest as you run your hands through his hair in comforting motions the way your dad had done for you all those years ago. 

“Thank you for being here, Hannah, she… it’s all fuckin bullshit doll,” he murmurs into your chest, and you feel the impulse to kiss his temple and tell him everything is okay, but you restrain yourself and just continue running your hands through his hair. 

“Thank you for the flowers, no one’s bought me flowers before.” he mumbles into the fabric of your shirt. You smile, combing through his hair, hands lingering on random strands. 

“You’re welcome, you’re gonna do great hotshot, I just know it.” He pulls back and looks at you with a smile, and you could have sworn his eyes flickered to your lips for a fraction of a second before making eye contact with you again, but you dismissed it. 

Probably just wishful thinking right? Just Holly’s words putting silly notions in your head. You decided one thing though. You’d buy Adam flowers for every single opening night he'd let you stick around for. 

“Do you want me to stay with you until you need to go on?” 

“And let you miss out on the show?”

“I’m here for you, and if here is where you need me, then that’s where I’ll be.” And you meant it. You’d happily spend the rest of the night in this tiny room with him if that’s what he needed. He smiles at you, and ruffles your hair, something that would have annoyed you if it wasn’t him doing it “Go enjoy the show Doll. You’ve already worked your magic here.” 

He helped you down from the chair you were standing on, but his hands didn’t leave your waist and yours stayed fixed wrapped around his neck. It was a very intimate stance and in a different world you could see yourself reaching up and closing the distance between you. Capturing his lips in yours. Instead, you settled for leaning up and placing a kiss on his cheek, your lips hovering there for a breath too long. But you didn’t miss the way his hands tightened on your waist, as if begging you to stay exactly where you were. 

“For luck.” You say with a smile, turning your face to try and hide the redness you felt spreading across your face. 

“Oh! You must be Hannah!” A voice interrupts causing you to quickly step back from Adam’s arms. 

“Oh no, this is Y/n, my best friend.” Adam is quick to correct, but he didn’t move away from you, instead, his hand found its way to the small of your back guiding you towards the voice. 

“Y/n this is Matt our technician. He makes sure nothing fucks up and gets damaged or more importantly damages me.” 

“Well there’s more to it than that.” He pushes his glasses up his nose, you assumed it was an awkward tick he had. 

“Oh I’m sure there is Matt and I’d love to hear all about it, thank you for keeping my best friend here safe. Lord knows he can’t do it by himself” you offer a wink and a smile. 

“Careful there doll face, you’ll make him think he has a chance.” Adam whispers into your ear low enough that only you can hear. You toy your bottom lip between your teeth, in an attempt to stop the heat pooling in your lower half. Fuck, Adam’s voice was something different. The way he was speaking to you, the way he almost seemed angry at the idea of you flirting with someone else. 

_Good way to distract him from whatever's going on with Hannah though…_

“Would you mind showing me to my seat? Show’ll be starting soon right and I have no idea where I’m going.” you step out of Adam’s embrace and instead move closer to Matt who gulped.

“Good luck out there hotshot.” You call, and you see him smile out of the corner of your eye, causing a grin to appear on your lips.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you all for the lovely messages on Tumblr wishing me luck in my job interview! I smashed it and have a job! So thanks me lil darlings. 
> 
> Secondly, I hope you actually loved Adam's POV because we've got a full chapter of it for you. 
> 
> Enjoy. - Thomasscresswell 💕💕

Grad School. Iowa. Grad school in Iowa. 

Hannah. 

Hannah, going to grad school in Iowa. 

He repeated the facts in his head as he stared at her, trying to process the fucking bombshell she’d just waltzed in and dropped on him.

Right before he had to go out on stage and perform. On opening fucking night. 

He wasn’t sure which part was worse. That she’d applied to grad school in _fucking Iowa_ without telling him. Or that she’d come in here and told him tonight. Without so much as a fucking moment of recognition for his achievement today. 

It was his night. His fucking night. Yet he knew the second he met up the people he’d been forced to call friends - because of fucking Hannah- it would be all about her. He’d be reduced to nothing, this play that had started as something to do, some way to pay his half of the rent. But had become something he was passionate about, something he had put blood sweat and more than enough tears into. Would be reduced to nothing. 

“And you couldn’t wait to tell me? You had to tell me tonight? Jesus Hannah are you really as fucking selfish as everyone says?” He snaps and stands from the sofa, needing to put as much space between them as possible. It wasn’t that he thought he’d hurt her, he’d never. But the proximity to her made him itch. He fucking hated her that much. She repelled him. 

“Adam this is an amazing opportunity for me! Why can’t you just be happy for me?” She snaps back, crocodile tears forming in her eyes again. Adam can’t help but roll his eyes.

He was so over her bullshit. 

“You know what Hannah? Fuck you. Tonight is my night, and you just had to come along and wreck it with your bullshit. And I’m so fucking sick of how fucking selfish you are and how you only care about your feelings. It’s not fair on me, or anyone else around you!” He’s panting by now, and he knows he should have stopped a couple of sentences ago, but it’s like a dam has broken and now his feelings are just spewing out. 

“Was it Ray?”

“What?” He paused his hands coming to rest on his hips. Needing to do something, anything with them. If not he’d run his hands through his hair and over his face. Ruining all that effort Angelika had put in getting him ready for going onto the stage. 

“Who said I’m selfish!” she rolls her eyes as if it was the most obvious thing. “Because we both know he’s deranged and has no redeeming qualities. It’s why he’s still single and thinks that stupid coffee shop of his is going somewhere.” She paused. “Was it Marnie? Jessa?”

He couldn’t fucking believe it, what was he hearing right now. Where the hell did she get off, fucking ignoring his points like that? No, it just proved his point about how self-centred this was. 

“First of all, don’t shit on Ray he’s got more redeemable qualities than you. And it was Y/N.” He paused for a breath. “And you know what she’s right. Everything she’d ever said about you. It’s all fucking true. And I can’t take it anymore.” 

“Y/N? I told you to stop talking to that psycho.”

A psycho. There goes Hannah’s calling card. Anyone she didn’t like, anyone that didn’t play into her narrative was a psycho. And go fucking figure she’d coined the label for you. Normal men would probably want their girlfriend and best friends to get along, but Adam was relieved you hated each other. It made seeing Hannah’s flaws so much easier. The same should have been said about Hannah’s complaints of you, but they were so petty and fucking stupid based on bullshit that none of them were worth a damn. Oh, you’d have flaws sure. He couldn’t think of right now, but they were nothing in comparison to Hannah. Yet here she was. 

Calling you a psycho. 

“Is that what you’re taking from this Hannah? Seriously?” He didn’t want to bring you into this, even if every fibre in his body ached to defend you. But this was about him and his anger and he refused to let Hannah twist this and make him out to be the bad guy. No. He’d not let this go. 

“Stop shouting at me!” She whines in a voice that threatens to become real tears at any minute. Not those pathetic fake ones. “I was so happy Adam you’re ruining my happy!” 

He hopes the disappointment on his face, the hurt and pain she’d caused him.

“Get out.” his voice was stoic. Devoid of all emotion. He was done with her, he’d made the choice to rip off the bandaid and get it over with. He’d decided that this was the inevitable ending for this relationship. 

He’d never marry Hannah, never have a family with her. Months ago, maybe even weeks, he’d thought that was where their path was heading, he’d even started to research how to make rings. There was a clear picture in his mind of what he wanted to make for Hannah. Something she would love, something uniquely hers. But not now, he knew what it was like to grow up in a family like that. He refused to do it, to put himself through that again willingly. 

He’d held back on ending things after his realisation two weeks ago. Hoping things would change, that the feeling of passion would return, that the spark would rekindle, that Hannah would change. He was a fucking idiot for having hope. He saw that now. There was no way this could continue. 

“Adam?” Hannah asked, a sniffle following soon after. 

“I need you to go Hannah.” 

Saying anything else to her right now seemed impossible, the words that would end this entire relationship didn’t seem to be able to pass his lips.

Breaking up with her tonight would either be the best or worst thing. Symbolically it would be him stepping away from his old self fully, and into the new more focused and driven self he had become. It seemed fitting. But a bigger part of him knew it was probably bad luck, some old theater superstition. Plus if he said the words she’d not leave she’d stay and plead or beg or do something stupid. All he wanted right now was her gone. 

Hannah seemed to understand that, he couldn’t tell if what she was thinking. But he knew she was going to do what he wanted. Instead, he focused on a spot on the wall and counting his breathing. All tricks he’d picked up in AA. 

Fuck what he’d give for a drink right now. 

When he looked back at Hannah, she was gone. As if she wasn’t there at all. As if he’d made it all up. That didn’t mean his blood had stopped thundering through his veins, boiling with rage. 

He went back to counting, first the walls, then the lights around the mirror on the shabby vanity in the corner, and then how many steps it would take for him to cross the room. The walking helped, moving helped. So he did it again. Counting down this time. 

The numbers didn’t match, it had taken him 5 steps to cross the room and 6 to get back. So he counted again, this time he crossed the room in 4 steps. He continued to repeat the process convinced he’d not be happy until he got the numbers to be consistent. 

He was so lost in his head, that he didn’t hear you come in. 

“Hey hotshot. I got you flowers.” a pause, he let out a sigh at your voice, it was almost angelic, in that moment. “That’s what people do right? On opening night?” You finish, that cute little smile on your face, the one he liked to think was reserved only for him. He didn’t miss the way your brows furrowed as you took in his mood. Trying to decipher him like a puzzle. 

He watched as you dunked the flowers on the little cabinet filled with what he assumed was sounding equipment. Stepping further into the room, your arms opening wide as you do. Inviting him in. 

He almost trips over his own feet pulling you closer, his arms wrapping around you and burying his head into your hair. He decided that you were a better grounding strategy than all the wall staring, the counting and anything else. His sponsor back in the day had stressed that you shouldn’t rely on a single person to ground you, that it was dangerous because you never knew what could happen, the only person you could trust was yourself. 

Adam called bullshit, they’d clearly never met someone like you. 

Everything about you seemed to calm him and make him feel safe. Make him feel loved. From the way you listened to him. To the way you spoke to him like he was important. He considered himself to be confident and outgoing but there was something about having someone who made you feel like that. It was unbeatable. 

He breathed you in, releasing in having you in his arms, being completely surrounded by you. Your warmth, the soft rise and fall of your chest against his and was that? Coconut?  
That was new. 

“Your hair smells like coconut.” He said, not meaning to. The words had slipped out. He was glad for it though he wasn’t sure he was ready to let you know how bad things were with Hannah. He wasn’t sure what you’d do truthfully. When you’d notice the bruise forming on his under chin from that asshole Hannah had coerced into punching him he’d seen fire in your eyes. He’d had to sit you on his lap for the rest of breakfast just to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid. 

He’d spent enough time locked up because of Hannah for the both of you. 

“I know. You like coconut.” your reply is muffled from how tight he has you pressed into him. But still he hears, he understands. Did you buy the coconut shampoo for him? That seems like a stretch but one he hopes is true. 

He stepped away from you, giving you some space, even if he wanted to hold you close forever. Shove you in his pocket and keep you there. He still held onto you though, scared that if he didn’t you’d be too far away. Maybe you’d leave him as well.

He took the time to take you in, your hair was styled all fancy. He usually didn’t really like it when you tied it back, he loved it being loose and free and there for him to play with. But right now you looked so elegant. With those two strands of hair escaping the pins and framing your face. He wanted to reach up and push one behind your ear, just because. 

You looked like some kind of Disney princess. No that wasn’t right to say, you looked way too fucking hot to be described like that.. Even with the sweet style and the flowery pattern that tried to give off an innocent vibe. On you, however? It looked sinful, With the way it clung to your torso and then flowed over your hips, the slit in the skirt gave a nice view of the silky skin on your legs. His eyes eventually fell on the exposed skin of your shoulders. His breath caught and his mind went places that were entirely crossing the line his mind had drawn when it came to you. He couldn’t help it, he imagined what it would be like to suck and bite and leave marks all over your exposed skin

He’d seen you less dressed, in nothing but shorts and a vest, or in a robe whenever you came out from the shower, but this was a whole different thing. You looked picture perfect. Sexy as hell. 

And it was all for _him._

You’d made such an effort for him. 

Hannah hadn’t. Oh, she’d get dressed up for Marnie’s little joke of a gig, force him into something nice as well. But wouldn’t for him. She’d never done that for him. Sure there wasn’t anything wrong with not getting dressed up. But it was nice. That someone cared. That you want to look nice for him, on a night so special to him

“You look real cute doll.” 

A smile spreads across your face, followed by the hint of a blush. You stepped back from him and did a small spine for him. Letting him take you in. “I do try.” 

“Well, you certainly try well.” 

“Thank you, how you feeling?” he doesn’t miss the uncertainty on your face, or the way your hand rubbed over your arm, hinting at your unease. He knew you would have picked up on his mood, on his anger and frustration, And you were giving him the opening to talk to you about it if he wanted to, but the question was so vague he didn’t feel pressured.

“Bit nervous, but that’s normal. I just have to get in the right headspace.” he can’t go into it right now, he needs the opposite, he needs to focus on anything but his dead relationship. Talking to you would probably open up even more threads, and he didn’t need more reasons to be mad at Hannah right now.  
The cogs in your head seemed to be turning, he knew you weren’t going to accept that he wasn’t talking to you about what was going on, that you’d get it out of him eventually. But you’d let it go for now, he knew you’d never push him. 

“Should I go get Hannah?” you suggest with a small frown. 

“Don’t you fucking dare!” His reaction is instant, far more rude and angry than he meant for it to come out. He hates the way you flinch away from him. That he scared you. 

“Me and Hannah… we’re kinda not… working out, at the minute, I’d rather be as far away from her as much as possible, the woman is driving me fucking nuts.” He quickly added his voice calmer, less aggressive. He needed to make sure you understood, that he wasn’t mad at _you._

“Okay, not calling Hannah, I’m sorry.” Relief willed him then, he knew there was no risk of you going to get Hannah, but hearing you say it was reassuring. You looked around the room, your eyes falling on the chair in the corner of the room. He was about to question what was so interesting about the chair, but you moved to stand on it, the cushion sinking beneath your heels. You open your arms to him calling him towards you, inviting him in. 

An invitation he accepted gladly, stepping into your arms letting himself once again get lost in you. This time with his head pressed into your chest. Your hands moved in soothing motions over his hair. He liked that, your hands in his hair. 

“Thank you for being here, Hannah, she… it’s all fuckin bullshit doll,” he mumbled into the matrial of your dress, you smelled so good. Something floraly. It was nice, it matched you well. He brought his hands up to cup your waist. His large hands pressed tightly into your side. Gripping you close. 

“Thank you for the flowers, no one’s bought me flowers before.” he spied them, sitting so colourfully on the table, filled with blues and reds. His favourite colours. 

“You’re welcome, you’re gonna do great hotshot, I just know it.” 

He pulls back then and looks up at you. Unsurprised by the soft smile he finds on those perfect lips of yours. It would be so easy to lean up and claim them. 

But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t risk it. Not when you meant so much to him, not when he was a mess already. 

“Do you want me to stay with you until you need to go on?” 

“And let you miss out on the show?” 

“I’m here for you, and if here is where you need me, then that’s where I’ll be.” 

He was shocked by the offer, your dedication to him and how he was feeling. Wanting the best for him. 

His grip on your waist tightened your waist as he lifted you down, it would soon be time for you to go to your seat. Once your feet were on the floor his hands didn’t leave your waist. It was as if they were glued there. Your arms were comfortably wrapped around his neck, it felt intimate. He was so close to you, your bodies pressed together. 

His breath caught when you leaned up, your lips meeting his cheek. He wanted to turn into the kiss, deapen it. But he couldn’t, wouldn’t. 

“For luck.” you say, your lips lingering over his skin. 

“Oh! You must be Hannah!” A voice interrupts causing you to quickly step back from his arms. He misses the contact almost immediately. Immediately his eyes find the culprit. 

Matt. 

“Oh no, this is Y/n, my best friend.” he quickly corrects him picking up on your embarrassment. 

“Y/n this is Matt our technician. He makes sure nothing fucks up and causes gets damaged or more importantly damages me.”

“Well there’s more to it than that.” He pushes his glasses up his nose. 

“Oh I’m sure there is Matt and I’d love to hear all about it, thank you for keeping my best friend here safe. Lord knows he can’t do it by himself” He can’t believe you, flirting with this fucker. 

“Careful there doll face, you’ll make him think he has a chance.” Adam growls in your ear as he feels a flicker of jealousy at how Matt was staring at you, obviously entranced with how beautiful you looked. 

Surely any guy would be with how pretty you looked tonight, right? 

But you hadn’t gotten pretty for Matt, or any one else. It was all for him. So what gave Matt the fucking balls to look at you like you like that. 

“Would you mind showing me to my seat? Show’ll be starting soon right and I have no idea where I’m going.” you ask sweetly. You might as well have twirled your hair with your fingers for how obvious you were being. Matt nodded early seemingly over the moon when you moved forward hooking your arm into his. 

“Good luck out there hotshot.” You call back to him over your shoulder as you leave. Going to the seats he got you. Best seats in the house. Each member of the cast had been given a ticket or two for someone special. He’d offered it to Hannah but she’d complained that she would get lonely. Even if he told her he wanted to see her face in the crowd. He was glad she’d argued. Now he had someone better to look at. Someone that inspired him more.

Someone who was good to him and didn’t take without giving anything back. Someone who wasn’t selfish and self-absorbed.

**Author's Note:**

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